Asking the Tumblr Hivemind
I teach the sex education curriculum of Our Whole Lives at my local Unitarian Universalist church, right now we are teaching the kindergarten-1st grade class. We don’t get a whole lot of support from the congregation, although we do have a small budget we can use for supplies and training new teachers. I want to get more involved and get them more involved.
One of the ways I want to do this is help change the culture to be more trans inclusive, since gender education is a big part of comprehensive sex education. I swear I’ve seen print outs or signs for churches and other organizations on how to be more welcoming to trans people including always including your pronouns in introductions to make it more normalized, avoiding gendering and binary language, etc. but I can’t find one anywhere! I want to put it on the cork board in the foyer so everyone can see it and start changing their behavior.
So tumblr hivemind: can any of you find me something I can print out that will show a list of ways my congregation can be more welcoming/inclusive of trans people?
For Your Sex Education — Inclusive Community for the Modern Parent
I know I rarely post on here any more and that sucks but I’m a columnist for an online parenting zine called Candor. I try to post at least once a month so if you want to read my stuff click here! I’m planning on re-writing some of my old stuff and posting it so stay tuned.
The Status of Abortion in Arkansas
rI live in Arkansas and have volunteered with the local Planned Parenthood. I’m friends with some of the people involved in campaigning for keeping abortion available in Arkansas. We’ve had a lot of anti-choice bills coming up and being passed, as are a lot of states right now. I wanted to share with you some of the things happening in Arkansas right now.
Signed into Law:
•Act 180 (SB 149, Sen. Jason Rapert, R-Conway) triggers a total abortion ban if Roe v. Wade is overturned with no exception for rape or incest. Doctors who perform abortions would face up to 10 years in prison. Senate vote: passed 29-6; 2/7/19. House vote: passed 72-20; 2/14/19.
•Act 493 (HB 1439, Rep. Robin Lundstrum, R-Springdale) is an unconstitutional bill to ban abortion after 18 weeks without exceptions for rape, incest, or fatal fetal anomaly. House vote: passed 86-1; 3/13/19. Senate vote: passed 28-6; 3/11/19.
•Act 522 (SB 341, Sen. Missy Irvin, R-Mountain View) would force physicians to give medically inaccurate and potentially dangerous information about abortion pill “reversal” to patients. Some claim that after taking the first abortion pill you can take an amount of progesterone that would negate the effects of the pill. Not only is there no medical or scientific proof that this would actually work, or is safe. According to ACOG, the American College of Obstetretricians and Gynecologists, these procedures are unproven and unethical(medical Senate vote: passed 29-5; 2/28/19. House vote: passed 70-14; 3/18/19.
•Act 620 (SB 3, Sen. Trent Garner, R-El Dorado) is a TRAP* law that imposes medically unnecessary reporting requirements on abortion providers in an effort to intimidate and ultimately discredit them. Senate vote: passed 28-6; 3/7/19. House vote: passed 75-13; 3/27/19.
•Act 619 (SB 2, Sen. Trent Garner, R-El Dorado) stands in the way of a person’s right to an abortion in the case of a diagnosis of fetal Down syndrome, while doing nothing to address discrimination or ensure that people living with disabilities have access to health care and other services they need. Senate vote: passed 29-2; 3/20/19. House vote: passed 75-11; 3/27/19.
•Act 700 (SB 448, Sen. Gary Stubblefield, R-Branch) would require abortion providers to be OB/GYNs, creating a barrier to care in Northwest Arkansas, where the only abortion formerly available was the abortion pill. They are requiring even those administering the abortion pill, one of the safest medications available, to be a OB/GYN. This is like requiring a doctor prescribing antibiotics to be a surgeon. Senate vote: passed 29-5; 3/14/19. House vote: passed 70-15; 3/28/19.
•Act 801 (SB 278, Sen. Gary Stubblefield, R-Branch) is a TRAP* law that would extend the abortion waiting period to 72 hours and increase Arkansas’ “informed consent” requirements. Senate vote: passed 28-6; 3/18/19. House vote: passed 75-13; 4/2/19.
Awaiting Governor’s Signature:
•HB 1453 (Rep. Clint Penzo, R-Springdale) would make it state policy to encourage women to carry fetuses with a fatal diagnosis to full term. It has passed the House. House vote: passed 73-18; ¾/19. Senate vote: passed 29-5; 4/8/19.
•HB 1856 (Rep. Jim Dotson, R-Bentonville) bans state funding for abortion or related expenses for those in state custody. House vote: passed 75-16; 3/26/19. Senate vote: passed 29-3; 4/9/19.
* A TRAP Law, Targeted Regulation of Abortion, is a law that targets the medical pratices of doctors that provide abortion and enforces requirements that aren’t required of other medical practices. They often make it more difficult to get abortion and don’t actually make anything safer.
Conversation Topic of the Day
What are some questions you’ve been afraid to ask about your vagina and/or vulva?
STI jeopardy
I need some really difficult questions for the Sexually Transmitted Infection jeopardy game I’m working on. The purpose of this activity is to provide a fun and quick way for them to get all the information they need so it also needs to be important questions.
Any ideas?
Conversation Starter of the Day
What are the advantages of having sexual fantasies- in terms of pleasure, emotional intimacy, safety, and communication.
What are the disadvantages?
The Rape of an Arizona Woman in a Coma Is Not an Isolated Incident -
Although many of the details of this horrifying incident remain unknown, news of the case has conjured up significant outrage, especially among sexual assault and disability rights advocates who want to know how this could have happened and what actions will be taken to stop similar tragedies in the future.
Chief among their concerns is the troubling treatment of this story, particularly among the media who have been reporting this incident as a “possible sexual assault.”
“It is unacceptable that the media isn’t covering this for what it is—rape. She wasn’t ‘allegedly assaulted,’ she was raped,” Rebecca Cokley, director of the Disability Justice Initiative at the Center for American Progress, told Rewire.News in an email.
“I think it continues to indicate a media that is still largely uncomfortable seeing disabled people, as well, people. It’s further emphasized by the journalists covering the issues neglecting to interview disabled women who work on these issues, forcing it to be perceived through a nondisabled lens,” Cokley continued.
Of course, this heartbreaking incident is not surprising to many people with disabilities. As Imani Barbarin aptly pointed out on Twitter, “83% of disabled women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime.”
This is why it’s important to talk about disabilities when talking about sex education and why sex education programs specifically for people with disabilities is so important
Over-the-Counter Contraceptives Are Now Free for Washingtonians With Insurance
After six years of infuriating Republican obstructionism in Olympia, the Reproductive Parity Act passed last session. A lot of the talk around the bill focused on the part that requires all insurers who cover maternity care to also cover abortion. And rightfully so. That provision expanded abortion access to greater number of Washingtonians, giving a greater number of women control over their own goddamned reproductive health choices. But the bill also included some preventative care measures that didn’t get as much press.
Namely: As of January 1, 2019, all Washingtonians with state-regulated insurance can now pick up over-the-counter contraceptives for free at their in-network pharmacies, according to the Office of the Insurance Commissioner. Those contraceptives include “condoms, spermicides, emergency contraceptives, and sponges.”
So—if you’re not on Medicaid, and if you don’t work for a mega-company that self-insures—then you can just stroll into a Walgreens (or a Rite Aid, or whatever pharmacy is in your network), walk up to the pharmacy counter, and ask for some Plan B, some condoms, or whatever a “sponge” is, and they’ll give it to you for freeeeeee at point of service.
This Is the Difference Between Normal Fighting and Verbal Abuse
Because the signs may be subtle, discerning between a heated argument and verbal abuse can be tricky. I’ve seen many people who didn’t realize they were being abused until they began therapy. Oftentimes, they unknowingly minimize or justify their partner’s actions, by telling themselves things, like: “He’s just stressed out from work; once we get away for a vacation, things will get better,” or “He has trouble coping with anger. I know he didn’t mean the cruel things he said to me.” When caustic words like “I wouldn’t get angry if you weren’t so sensitive,” or “You brought the conflict on yourself. I’m not apologizing,” become the norm, not a rare exception, it may be time to re-examine the well-being of your relationship.
It might sound surprising, but nearly 50 percent of women and men have experienced at least one psychologically unsafe encounter with a partner. While it’s difficult to ignore the damage inflicted by physical violence—like black eyes and bruises—the psychological wounds left by verbal punches aren’t nearly as noticeable. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t just as damaging to one’s self-esteem and mental health as physical violence.
And while there’s often a thin line between fighting and verbal abuse, there are a few tell-tale signs that could indicate you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Some ways to talk positively about sex without adding to the pressure to have it:
- Make it clear that trying to control other people is what’s wrong with sex-shaming. Sex is a personal choice. It’s just as wrong to shame people for choosing not to have sex as it is to shame them for having it. What’s important is respecting people’s right to make their own choices.
- Be clear that having sex or not has zero impact on someone’s worth. You’re not worth more or less if you have a lot of sex. You’re not worth more or less if you have no sex or sex only in certain circumstances. Your choices about whether or not to have sex are not even remotely connected to how good, cool, or interesting a person you are.
Feminists: When you talk about the way sexually active women are devalued, also talk about the way women who choose not to have sex are thrust into their own unhealthy roles as paragons, “innocents” to be manipulated, or ever-nurturing maternal figures. Talk about false dichotomies and why they’re harmful to everyone who is coercively sorted into them, and why it’s important to value people without thrusting them into this dichotomy.- Desexify sex. Talk about it frankly. Don’t treat it as a big mysterious forbidden secret, a big rite of passage, a feminist achievement, or some kind of holy bonding ritual. Sex is a hobby. Like any other hobby, it has different meanings for different people in different contexts.
Like any other hobby, some people like to do it with their romantic partners, with friends, or with other people, and some people like to do it rarely or not at all.
Like any other hobby, some people find it very meaningful, some use it as a way to bond with their partner, and some people just think it’s fun or do it because they’re bored.
Like any other hobby, sex is not necessary to have a good and happy relationship. Some people have it, some people don’t. There are a lot of hobbies you can share with your partner; this one isn’t the only option or the most important one. Etc., etc.- Make a clear distinction between sexual feelings and choosing to do sexual things. Many people like to feel sexual even if they don’t want to have sex, and that’s okay! Exploring sexual thoughts, feelings, and activities alone is a healthy choice, and so is just ignoring those thoughts and feelings. Make it clear that the power is in the choice.
.- Provide information on asexuality. Not everyone feels sexual attraction, and knowing that it’s a valid experience shared by many others may help people feel like it’s okay not to have sexual relationships they don’t want.
- Emphasise emotional safety. Talk about how people have different emotional needs and that it’s important to think about your feelings and expectations before deciding to have sex. Many people have complicated feelings about sex and it’s important not to rush in until you understand what you want - emotionally and otherwise - from a sexual experience.
- Emphasise meaningful consent.
Meaningful consent means everyone involved really understands what’s going to happen, what the risks are, and what it means for them emotionally and for their relationship with whoever they’re having sex with.
It means everyone has talked about what they want and what they don’t, and feels okay saying “stop” and “slow down” and “not right now” and “let’s do something else for while.”
It means there’s a pretty even balance of power - there’s no meaningful consent if one person is much older, a teacher or mentor, a coach, or a boss. It also means that nobody feels like they have to do it to make someone else happy.
Meaningful consent means that nothing happens unless everyone has said yes to it while feeling safe enough to say “no” if they want to.- Here are some things to think about when deciding whether or not to have sex. (link one) (link two)
(via outforhealth)