fuck yeah sex education

Sex Positive and Body Positive educational place. Includes information about different relationships, genders, sexuality, sexual preferences, safety precautions and everything else that could pertain in the education of sex. Accepting of all walks of life.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!

Masturbation, Relationships, and Sex: A Guide for Trans and Gender Variant People

Sex, relationships, and masturbation can be tricky when you’re Trans. You have to deal with social stigma as well as your own dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is the feeling that your body isn’t quite right. For trans people this usually involves the genitals and chest, but it can also involve body hair, voice, facial features, weight distribution, and many other parts of the body. This can make it difficult to even be naked, let alone touching your body or having it be touched. There’s also the constant fear of rejection or even violence which is why many trans people are hesitant to start up relationships or approach someone for sex. In this article we’ll discuss some tips on how to deal with each of these issues.

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Of course it looks like everyone’s going to want the most difficult article, Trans* Sex.


This is supposed to be about talking about dysphoria and how to deal with dysphoria during masturbation and sexual conduct and different toys you can use to help.

I do know of what works for me, but I want other trans* people to tell me what works for them.

I know of a few popular techniques like the DFAB masturbation sleeve, curling the “penis” up so that it’s more like fingering, muffing, my own technique of treating a phallic vibrator like a penis during masturbation, and of course using strap ons, double dildos, and referring to your parts by the right gendered language but does anyone have any other useful tips?

I just had a thought.

Are there any nonbinary or gender neutral people who are either monosexual or monoromantic? Since heterosexual/romantic is usually for “opposite” gender, and homosexual/romantic is for same gender that would be different for people who don’t identify as male or female. I’ve never met any who were monosexual/romantic but if you are one how do you identify? 

This is just my curiosity and learning more about orientations and identities. 

It’s been pointed out there is androsexual/gynosexual so there is that, I was just wondering if there’s anything other than that.

Now that I’ve finished my Sex Aids post I’m going to get started on my post on how to introduce sex toys to your partner and use them during partnered sexual play.

If anyone has any questions or things they want to be sure I include let me know 

So far I have

  • how to bring up the subject of sex toys and talk about them
  • how to address any fears or insecurities about using sex toys that your partner may have
  • how sex will be made better with the use of sex toys
  • how to use certain sex toys during partnered sexual play

Also remember I’m working on a post on trans* sexuality so if anyone wants to chime in on tips during masturbation or sex, different products they use, and how to deal with dysphoria and your sexuality let me know.

I’m also still working on my video on orientations so if anyone has any questions or comments before I finish it let me know.

Since I (FINALLY) finished my penis sex toys post I can start my next one,

Sex Aids, that make sex easier especially for disabled people (although not necessarily only disabled people. This would include different types of cushions, sex throes, pads for your knees; anything that helps make sex easier. If anyone has any suggestions or questions they’d like answer please let me know!

I’m also working on my post for masturbation and sex tips for trans people (especially to help with dysphoria) including toys that help out. If anyone has any tips they’d like to share, suggestions, or questions they’d like answered let me know!

Back to School for Transgender Elementary Students


This fall, as elementary-age kids head back to the classroom, some transgender students are returning with more than just new school supplies. For these children, the beginning of the academic year is an opportunity to introduce a new name, new pronouns, and a new social identity.

Over the past several years, resources for transgender elementary students and their families have grown rapidly. They now include multiple mainstream media reports (with varying levels of accuracy and sensationalism), new organizations such as TYFA and Gender Spectrum, and innovative medical protocols to delay the onset of puberty. While access to these resources is by no means universal, it is becoming increasingly possible for elementary-age children to begin their transition before the maelstrom of middle school.

However, as Elizabethe Payne and Melissa Smith suggest in their recent Huffington Post article, most elementary school teachers and administrators have not been trained in strategies for create an inclusive learning environment for gender nonconforming and transgender students.

As an elementary parent and an educator, I am passionate about welcoming schools. Katy Koonce and I recently had the privilege of creating a training for teachers and staff at a local elementary school. There are stellar materials available, and I wanted to share our outline and some of the things that we found most helpful.

Establishing a developmental timeline

As Payne and Smith point out, “Americans think of young children as ‘innocent’ and ‘asexual,’ so sexuality is considered unmentionable in elementary classrooms.”

Children are perceived as ‘too young’ for such conversations. Because of the ways gender and sexuality are connected in our culture and thinking, addressing non-normative gender brings the ideas of ‘sex’ and ‘sexuality’ into the ‘innocent’ elementary school space and is thus dangerous.

The first task of our training was to reorient teachers and administrators with accurate information about gender and child development. We used Stephanie Brill and Rachel Pepper’s The Transgender Child, specifically chapter three, “Developmental Stages and the Transgender Child,” which contains a detailed breakdown of gender identity at different ages. (If you don’t have access to the book, there is a version of this timeline available on the Gender Spectrumwebsite.)

Information about developmental stages (hopefully) speaks to elementary educators in the language of their professional education. Our next step was to introduce them to the words and experiences of transgender and gender nonconforming elementary students. (Again, our overarching concern at the outset of our presentation was to convince listeners that “this really happens at the elementary level.”)

To this end, our training included excerpts from Queer Youth Advice for Educators, which is based on interviews with LGBT youth from across the nation and includes several personal stories about elementary school experiences. This book is available as a PDF download from What Kids Can Do, and hard copies are available for $9.95. I give copies to school counselors and administrators whenever I can.

Establishing the costs of inaction

Once we had established that gender identity is within the purview of elementary education, we wanted to briefly highlight the social and emotional costs of unprepared schools. The personal narratives from Queer Youth Advice for Educators continued to be helpful on this point, especially when paired with GLSEN’s Harsh Realities: The Experiences of Transgender Youth in Our Nation’s Schools. Based on the 2007 National School Climate survey, this report speaks to educators in their language, linking harassment and lack of safety to poor educational outcomes.

In our case, we felt it prudent to follow the carrot of educational outcomes with the big stick of federal antidiscrimination law. Presumably most educators are already familiar with Title IX, the section of the Education Code that prohibits gender discrimination. We were excited to learn about a 2010 letter from the Department of Education that interprets Title IX as applying to gender-based discrimination that targets transgender students.

Title IX prohibits harassment of both male and female students regardless of the sex of the harasser—i.e., even if the harasser and target are members of the same sex. It also prohibits gender-based harassment, which may include acts of verbal, nonverbal, or physical aggression, intimidation, or hostility based on sex or sex-stereotyping. Thus, it can be sex discrimination if students are harassed either for exhibiting what is perceived as a stereotypical characteristic for their sex, or for failing to conform to stereotypical notions of masculinity and femininity. Title IX also prohibits sexual harassment and gender-based harassment of all students, regardless of the actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity of the harasser or target.

Special thanks to the National Center for Transgender Equality for making this letter available as a PDF on their blog.

Outlining best practices

At this point, we felt it was important to move into practical, proactive policy recommendations. For this particular educational context, our recommendations included the following:

  • Honoring preferred name and pronouns
  • Maintaining confidentiality
  • Restroom accessibility
  • Staff and faculty training
  • Addressing gender inclusion in the curriculum

Our recommendations were based on personal experience as well as three excellent resources:

Curriculum for teachers and students

Initially, making suggestions for gender-inclusive curriculum seemed like the tallest order. After all, we live in Texas, a state that’s not exactly known for its progressive curriculum. Luckily, my friend Abe Louise Young alerted me toGender Doesn’t Limit You: A Research-Based Anti-Bullying Program for the Early Grades, which was developed by the Gender and Racial Attitudes Lab at the University of Texas and distributed through the Southern Poverty Law Center’s Teaching Tolerance program. While not explicitly designed to speak to transgender issues, these detailed lesson plans include case studies and rhyming scripts to help young children learn to analyze and respond to gender-based bullying, and many of the examples involve behaviors that don’t conform to rigid gender norms. As an added bonus, the rhyming scripts can be useful for teachers who need words to respond to gender bias and bullying on the spot in everyday classroom contexts.

Future presentations

We learned a great deal from our first training with elementary educators, and we hope to continue to work with more schools and to share resources with other people engaged in similar projects. Personally, I’d like to write some case studies based on experiences of elementary students who have transitioned at school. Do you have other suggestions for other resources or ideas to help us improve?

Paige Schilt has taught college students for 18 years and served as Interim Assistant Dean of Student Multicultural Affairs at Southwestern University in 2011-2012. Katy Koonce is a former school social worker and a psychotherapist in private practice.


The 2011 National School Climate found that 8 out of 10 LGBT students experience harassment at school because of their sexual orientation.
Reblog this if you’re working to get that number down to 0!


Voting While Trans


Transgender people, the majority of whom have never had problems voting in the past, may now lose their right to vote due to dozens of new voter suppression laws. Over 25,000 transgender people could have their voting rights taken away. In response to these dubious new laws, we have released two resources to help transgender people reclaim their voting rights.

Definitely take a look at this website if you’re eligible to vote this upcoming election! It’s extremely important, considering that Romney will literally try to take away our basic human and legal rights. Spread this around as well so your trans* followers can see it.

(via whoneedssexed)

Trans 101: What is “cis”?


“Cis”, short for “cisgender”, refers to one of many pathways a person’s development can take.

In society as it is structured right now (under a white imperialist patriarchy), every person is labelled as one of two possible genders at birth. This labelling is itself naturalized by constructs such as biological sex. In the course of normal development, a person comes at some point in life to reject this classification, taking some other self-determined identity.

A cis person is one who fails to reject this structure, and instead of taking on a self-determined identity comes to grow into the identity that was designated for them.

The word “cis” comes from Latin, where it means “on the same side”. It was picked as an antonym to “trans”, which is a term the medical establishment put (as “transsexual”) onto a subset of the people who rejected the identity they were labelled with.

This is the short version. The long version would go into how the structure of cisnormativity came about, and why it’s important to mention its connection to imperialism, and a bunch of things I’m even less qualified to write about.

(via ladybuglights)

Student tip: Advocate for trans* equality - send a letter/email your principal or superintendent about the importance of creating an enumerated policy for trans*/gender nonconforming students in your school district.

(Source: transstudent)

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