Disclaimer: I am not a professional! If you want to find a professional sex educator please look at my "Resources" page. If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: FYsexeducationquestions, though check out my FAQ first!
![[image description: An image mimicking the classic red ‘hello my name is’ sticker, with the alternate text ‘hello I identify as’ in all caps. The write-in section is blank.]
Hello I Identify As started, originally, as a set of laminated signs to be carried by the members of Out On Campus at Vancouver Pride 2011. They were made in each colour of the pride flag rainbow.
Since then, the signs have lived in the Out On Campus lounge, being used for workshops or as examples of the kind of work done there.
This semester, four members of a class called ‘Queer Genders’ were tasked with a project. Jai, the original creator of the file, Mickie, Mark and Nicole decided to show the variety of identity on campus, not just in gender or sexual identity, but in all aspects. They made the above image into a pair of whiteboards, and split up, asking folks to write in their identities, and then taking photos of them. These photos were edited into a video and shown to their class.
For ethical reasons, none of those photos will be posted to this tumblr, but the work goes on. If you feel like it, please download, print or otherwise make use of this image, and fill it in with your identity. Submit a photo, or file; if you don’t have the capability to alter the image yourself, send us an ask, and we’ll write your text in for you.
Please feel free to spread this around!](http://25.media.tumblr.com/3bf884c424820600e7889b32a9f2dd88/tumblr_mlhjc7L68u1ql6h8yo1_1280.png)
College Blocks Speech By Gay Porn Star
http://www.buzzfeed.com/shani/college-blocks-speech-by-gay-porn-star
Hi! This is something thats going on at my college right now. The members of the lgbtq group I’m in are trying to spread this around as much as possible and I love this blog and though it would be a good idea to send it to you! We really want people to get wind of this and try to show that porn isn’t bad, its just misunderstood sometimes.
Gender Expression, Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation
Q: How do I know what my gender or orientation is?
A: I get a lot of “how do I know if I’m (insert gender or orientation here)” questions. What it comes down to is a lot of people have difficulty knowing for sure. We always hear these stories of, “Oh well I knew since I was 7 and I never doubted myself ever.” which it’s great if you have such certainty but both orientations and genders are fluid. They change and that’s okay. We get so set in people telling us “oh it’s just a phase.” “You don’t really know who you are.” that we feel the need to prove ourselves. You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone. Labels don’t matter if they make you miserable or confused. The purpose of labels is to let you know you’re not alone and there are people out there like you and to be able to find those people and have a safe community. If you feel a certain way explore it. Present yourself the way you’re comfortable, love who you’re going to love, have sex with who you want to, and forget all of the little messages society tells you. How you feel is all that matters. If you find a label that makes you feel safe and happy explore that community. If you want to tell someone about yourself chances are they’re not going to understand a one word answer so you might have to explain anyway. It’s great to learn about different genders and orientations and explore those communities because you learn from it and you learn more about yourself and you might find something special there. No one fully knows themselves, that’s what life is about. A journey to find out who you are. You don’t have to learn everything at once.Q: What is the difference between transsexual and transgender?
A: Transsexual usually refers to anyone who plans to or is going through hormone replacement therapy or sex realignment surgery. Transgender people don’t have to be transitioning. However, the word “Transsexual” is kind of going out of favour so more and more people are using transgender.
Q: What’s the safe way to bind your chest?
A: The safest way is to get a really good sports bra that is the right size to be comfortable but still make your breasts appear smaller. You can get two really good sports bras and put the top one on backwards but this can get uncomfortable (for me at least). Also, layering is your best friend. You can wear a good sports bra, tight tank top, and t-shirt and maybe even put a vest, over shirt, sweater, or jacket over it. You could try a looser binder, but that’s kind of difficult to do since most binders have to be ordered online and you can’t really try those online. You could get a larger binder and if you’re any good at sewing try to alter it to be the right size. This can be tricky though depending on the type of binder. If you’re not worried about being uncomfortable or if you plan on having surgery you can find a good binder that fits perfectly, although finding the right size can be tricky. If you’re planning on having surgery is really the only time it’s a good idea to bind every day and you should never bind with ace bandages or tape.
Q: What does the * after Trans mean?
A: Basically this makes it more inclusive. Trans* can be anyone who is not cis gender, anyone whose gender identity doesn’t match up with their designated sex. This includes non binary identities. Trans without the asterisk just refers the trans men and women.
Posts
Masturbation, Relationships, and Sex: A Guide for Trans* and Gender Variant People
Done editing the Gender and Orientations section of my FAQ. Are there any other frequently asked questions that need to be put in this category? Do you have any questions about gender or orientation that aren’t answered here?
Heya! Re: your mention of asexuality as an orientation in relation to “no gender” as a gender identity.
I think it was probably unintential, but saying asexuality is “not a sexuality” comes off as very invalidating, and it doesn’t even make all that much sense.
Generally, asexuality is considered to be a sexual orientation, which is considered to be one aspect of sexuality. Thus, asexuality is an orientation, and is a part of one’s sexuality. So it doesn’t really make sense (at least to me) to call it not a sexuality…
Did you perhaps mean “the way that asexuality is a sexual orientation, even though it is a lack of attraction to any genders rather than attraction oriented towards specific gender(s)?
That might make more sense.
FYSE: I’d just been told by several asexual people not to call it a sexuality (I used to when I first started the blog) because it can be to some asexual people the absence of sexuality (just like atheism is considered by many atheists the absence of religion) so to call it a sexual orientation instead as that is more inclusive.
pansexuality
Hi, as someone who identifies as pansexual, it’s not an attraction to all genders, it’s feeling attraction regardless of gender.
FYSE: As someone who identifies as pansexual, I get really squigy feelings when someone says pansexuality is sexual attraction regardless of gender. It’s better than saying “pansexuals don’t see gender” which is totally erasing of gender identification but whenever someone says “gender doesn’t matter” they are very very wrong. Gender does matter. I see people’s gender as very important. Because I also am trans I want people to see my gender. I don’t want people to discredit my gender identity because “they don’t see gender” or “I’m in love with souls/personality not gender”. Because I want you to be in love with my gender because it is a huge part of who I am. I know that that’s how some people feel about their own pansexuality and I’m not here to tell you how you feel is wrong but please take a look at the implications of “attraction regardless of gender”
Here’s a pretty good explanation: http://rainbowgenderpunk.wordpress.com/tag/pansexual/
(don’t really like comparing it to colorblind-ness since I don’t like comparing racism to oppression or orientations or genders)
The thing is is there are a lot of variances in specific orientations and they mean different things to different people, and although “regardless of gender” isn’t the same of “genderblind” it kind of eludes to that and it’s a huge problem I have with the pansexual community.
I may put it in just for inclusions sake but I’ll also have to put down my feelings on genderblindness.
Multisexual Visibility Day
I couldn’t really find anything on Multisexuality or Monosexism that wasn’t either JUST about bisexuality or JUST about pansexuality or polysexuality so I decided to write a little something
Multisexuality: Sexual attraction to more than one gender identity. This can be an umbrella term for all kinds of multisexualities, as all forms are treated similarly, or it can be a specific identity.
Bisexuality: The most visible of the multisexualities, although that’s not really saying much as multisexualities in general are either invisible or ridiculed by both the straight and gay communities. Bisexuality technically means attraction to the same gender and people of different genders but that can mean different things to different bisexuals, some are sexually attracted to more than one gender identity, some are sexually attracted to any two gender identities, and some are attracted to all gender identities. A lot of multisexuals use the term bisexual because it is more visible. There are occasionally people who come out as bi or characters who are bi.
Polysexuality: Sexual attraction to many gender identities. It’s occasionally used instead of multisexuality as the catch all umbrella term (so is bisexuality for that matter) but it’s usually just used as a specific identity. It’s also one of the multisexualities that gets the least amount of attention.
Pansexuality: Sexual attraction to all gender identities. Some people explain their sexuality as “sexual attraction regardless of gender” although this can be a slippery slope. Being blind to gender, and saying you’re “not attracted to gender but the personality or soul” erases trans* people. Their gender may be really important to them, and they want their partners to respect, see and love their gender as well. Gender is important and it can’t be ignored. A better way to phrase it is sexual attraction that can be or is independent of their sexual identities, as this doesn’t cut out the people that are attracted to gender identity or where gender identity is a big part of their identity and it doesn’t leave out people who don’t determine attraction based on gender identity. Very seldom do you see portrayals of pansexuality in pop culture or media, I’ve heard of one person who came out as pansexual and there was a “attracted to pans” joke on Will and Grace which we have never been able to get away from since.
Omnisexuality: Sexual attraction to all gender identities. It’s used interchangeably with pansexuality, it just comes down to personal preference. It can also mean sexual attraction to anything, not just sexual attraction to genders. The most famous omnisexual is Jack Harkness who has been kind of diminished in recent portrayals and by the fanbase to strictly homosexual which is pretty par for the course with multisexual people.
Fluid: Having a sexual attraction that changes and is hard to define. Sexuality in general is pretty fluid, especially for multisexuals as some times we’re more attracted to one gender or one gender presentation than another. Even among monosexuals (homosexual/heterosexual) sexuality can be fluid and a person may be romantically attracted to more than one gender or they may identify as “heteroflexible/homoflexible” meaning they are usually monosexual but sometimes may be attracted to another gender. Fluid as it’s own sexuality means that this is the most defining part of your sexuality, that it changes and morphs.
Queer: queer is generally an umbrella term for anything not straight cisgender, but it is also an orientation in its own right. However, because queer does fall under the category as a reclaimed slur it’s important to be aware of it’s history and how it was used against specific groups of people, mainly gay people or people perceived of as gay. This includes trans people and multisexuals. It’s important to only reclaim the word if it has been used against people of your sexuality group.
Multi-Romantic Orientations: all of these sexual orientations have a romantic orientation counterpart. Romantic attraction is attraction based on the desire to be romantically attached to someone. Romantic orientation and sexual orientation may not match up, someone may be Polysexual but Heteroromantic. They may be homosexual but biromantic. Any combination is possible. Also, within the asexual community romantic orientation is important. Although you may not have sexual attraction you may still have romantic attraction (unless you’re aromantic as well) at which point your romantic orientation tells what genders you may be involved with. It’s very important to include asexual people who are multi romantic in multisexual conversation.
What this all comes down to is multisexual people are treated differently than heterosexual and homosexual people. A lot of times the validity of their orientation are called into question. Even among themselves! Some people say that there’s only bisexuality and every other orientation doesn’t exist and you’re trying to be a “special snowflake”. Some people say bisexuality is cissexist because they don’t understand that bisexuality isn’t just “attraction to cis men and cis women”. Outside of that we get very little visibility in the LGBT+ community. Bisexual more than others, usually people know what the B means even if they don’t know what the T means or any other letters. Sometimes it feels like we don’t belong anywhere. If we settle down with one person we’re told it was just a phase and “oh you’re heterosexual/homosexual now?”. If we happen to be polyamorous we’re told we’re “buying into the stereotype that multisexuals are greedy” Literally can’t win. So that’s why it’s important for us to work together. To promote visibility for all of us and to ask for multisexual characters and to promote whenever someone comes out as multesexual. We need to show everyone we exist.
*note: If I forgot anything (especially an orientation) please let me know. I kind of wrote this in a rush but I don’t want anyone left out.
Berkeley, CA is having the a Bisexual Pride Day
http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Berkeley-lawmakers-recognize-Bisexual-Pride-Day-3874797.php
This is a step in the right direction. Pride Days are notoriously white cis gay centric, so anything that somewhat breaks that mold is a good thing.
my coming out (TW: bi bashing, suicide)
i dont know if you accept these but i felt like posting because its something i’ve been thinking about. i’ve been given some crap from friends for coming out since i’m bisexual but looking back it has actually helped me a lot. i didnt even know about bisexuals in junior high(i lived in texas), i knew about gay men and women but i hadnt even heard of bisexuals until 8th grade when a friend said he was bisexual. that year was a weird year for me. i had people telling me to kill myself and had a girl hit me in class for being friends with her ex bf. so add onto that the fact that i was getting crushes on girls and i didnt know what to do was confusing. when i finally did come out in 9th grade, i started feeling much more secure in myself. i became more open with my friend(i feel), i became more affectionate towards friends of both sexes, i just felt less weird and more like a normal teenage girl. and since then i’ve never felt anything but normal. some people have made comments about me being very sexual or hyper sexual or what not, and it did used to bother me but from reading this pages posts i’ve come to realize that i wasn’t abnormal. i seemed more sexual to people because i’m so secure in myself and my sexuality, to me being secure in it and being able to talk about my sexuality with people openly and not get flustered is sex positivity is what i think its called. i’ve come to learn that i’m a sexual person and there is no shame whatsoever in that fact.
New blog: The Attraction Project
I’ve created a new tumblr for people to talk about the way they experience sexual, romantic, and other types of attraction.
http://theattractionproject.tumblr.com/
From the “about”:
The purpose is to show that people experience these things in different ways.
This is a brand-new project, and I’m still figuring things out. Advice is appreciated, un-constructive criticism is not. You can help the project get started by submitting about the way you experience attraction. Any form (story, reflection, observation, etc) in any media that tumblr will allow is accepted. Be creative! If it’s about the way you experience attraction of any sort, it belongs on the blog.
People’s experiences and feelings will be different. Two different people may use the same word to describe different things, or use different words to talk about the same feeling. This is okay, and anyone who does not respect that people are different will not be tolerated.
Please spread the word about the blog and submit!
