Follower Submission

I think a lot of problems that people come across in their sex lives have to do with the lack of breadth of what they’ve learned about sexuality. Detailed sex ed that I’ve encountered elsewhere is great, but it also tries to be exact about what happens in a certain situation, rather than emphasizing that ‘everyone is different’. I’ve seen so many posts, here and elsewhere, from people saying they ‘can’t get wet’, ‘can’t orgasm’, ‘can’t have multiple orgasms’, etc. Because folks learn that some people can have multiple orgasms, or feel pleasure from XYZ thing, they tend to think that that is everyone’s experience- so if it is not theirs, it’s a pathology. It helped ruin my last physical relationship that I was the only partner out of 7 that my partner had dated that didn’t orgasm, squirt, like the same fetishes or have the same concept of sexuality. He knew all about their kind of sexuality from his reading, but not that others could be different. If only he had instead learned that everyone is different, and that’s normal! And not in a superficial sort of way, but a manner in which differences are freely discussed and truly emphasized as good things. I wish we were more tolerant of other people’s different experiences.

FYSE: Agreed!

Please help my friend Kelton afford top surgery by posting his indiegogo,

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/help-kelton-afford-top-surgery

signal boost!

Un-Memorizing the “Silence is Sexy” Date Script

I have a lot of things going on right now, and so do my mods so here’s another drive to find more mods to help us combat our ever growing inbox.

If you have professional or volunteer experience in sexuality, sex education, health, health education, LGBTQQAI+ organization, mental health, kink, or anything related to the subject matter addressed here and are willing to answer people’s questions in a professional manner and have the free time to do so please shoot us a message so we can talk about your experience and our guidelines.

I have a paragard review blog

Radically honest review of copper IUD

http://oopsimnaked.tumblr.com/

Submission: IUD Review

Age: 20
Children: 0
Total Cost of Procedure: 70 cents (thanks to a wonderful healthcare system and great medical benefits, all prescriptions only cost me 35 cents each, and the insertion process was free).

I am writing this for all the ladies who, like me, research and review every little detail about their medical procedures. Do not be misinformed. There are worse things in life than getting an IUD inserted. So about 3 weeks ago, I was super excited to be approved to get an IUD.

For those of you who don’t know, an IUD is an Intrauterine Device used for birth control. The particular device I chose, is called Mirena. This will protect me against unwanted pregnancy for the next 5 years. For more information about Mirena, you can visit: http://www.mirena-us.com/index.php

I did myself a horrible ‘favor’ by researching and reading all sorts of reviews about the insertion of this ‘T’ shaped contraceptive, with complete disregard to the fact that the most popular reviews were, of course, horror stories. I’m not saying they were made up or over exaggerated, because I understand everyone has a different pain threshold, but I was prepared for agonizing pain, when in reality I left with uncomfortable, but very bearable cramps. 

I vaginally inserted 2 Misoprostol tablets the night prior to my insertion to soften my cervix. An hour before my appointment, I orally took 600mg of ibuprofen. I then went to my family doctor, who first performed a pregnancy test (just to be sure) and an internal examination to figure out which way my uterus was facing. He told me mine was backwards, but that it wouldn’t make the insertion process anymore difficult. He then sterilized all equipment, my vagina, cervix and uterus (this felt the same as any pap-smear). He then had to measure the depth of my uterus. In order to do this he had to clamp my cervix (the slightest pinch, it was more discomfort than pain), then insert a thin metal rod. Think of a very bad period cramp, this is how that felt. Next came the actual insertion of the IUD, which felt exactly the same as the measuring process. I had pretty bad cramps for all of two minutes, and next thing you know, he’s trimming the strings, removing the instruments, and leaving me feeling relieved. 

I am writing this not even an hour after having it inserted, and I feel just fine. Again, slight period-like cramps and some very minor bleeding, but nothing like the horrid, agonizing reviews I read just yesterday. For me, this was the perfect choice and I am at complete peace of mind, enough so that I will be heading to work in 3 hours!

All in all, prepare for a crampy day, but do not let all these painful experience reviews scare you away from a perfectly safe contraception form. It is well worth it!

College Blocks Speech By Gay Porn Star

http://www.buzzfeed.com/shani/college-blocks-speech-by-gay-porn-star

Hi! This is something thats going on at my college right now. The members of the lgbtq group I’m in are trying to spread this around as much as possible and I love this blog and though it would be a good idea to send it to you! We really want people to get wind of this and try to show that porn isn’t bad, its just misunderstood sometimes.

Chicago Passes Sex Education for Kindergartners

And some people are pissed about it?

I follow the sex education tag for obvious reasons and lately I’ve seen a lot of controversy for this law, some people calling it inappropriate or harmful. Personally, I am hoping that someday this law becomes a world wide thing and this is why. (TW: for some talk of sexual abuse)

1. It’s going to be age appropriate material. If you actually read the article, they’re not going to begin talking about STIs and how to have safer sex until 4th grade, which is great since this is around the time that puberty is going to start. 
2. They’re going to learn about anatomy and basic reproduction. Basically, where do babies come from and things to understand their bodies. Although I’d love for this to be able to be something that parents could teach their children… that doesn’t happen. I’ve had so many questions from young people who just started their period who were freaking out and afraid because their parents never told them about it. Starting early ends the misinformation that these kids would learn on the playground that at this age can be kind of cute and funny (unless your child kisses someone and is really upset because then they think they’re going to get pregnant) but a little older can be really dangerous.
3. Teaching about healthy relationships and safety. Unfortunately a lot of kids become sexually abused. These lessons will teach them that it’s not their fault and that they can get help and that the adult or older child is doing something wrong, not them. It also will probably cover bullying and how it’s not okay to touch other children without their consent. I was touched inappropriately by another child in the 4th grade. It made me feel horrible. Luckily because I got this education from my parent (which a lot of kids don’t get) I told my mom and she told the school and they made the child stop. It’ll probably also discuss how to talk to other kids and tell them when you don’t like the treatment they are giving you.

We NEED sex education that caters to every age. Instead of one random class that teaches some overwhelming information that may be coming to little to late, it builds on top of previous lessons. We start with the very basics and give kids information that they need when they need it. This will not only bring down STI and pregnancy rates, it’ll also help kids who are being abused and bring down abuse rates among young people as they will learn what a healthy relationship is and isn’t. 

FYSE Dictionary

Realized that the earlier reblog of a sex education dictionary was actually word for word my dictionary. I matched it up to mine because I wasn’t sure, but since obviously this is something people would like to share here’s a copy of it from me. Feel free to pass around and give me suggestions on what to add!

Aesthetic Attraction: (es-ˈthe-tik attraction) Attraction to someone based on finding them attractive or aesthetically pleasing though you don’t necessarily want a sexual or romantic connection with them.

Ableism: (əb(ə)l-ism) prejudice or discrimination towards non able bodied or aneurotypical people.

Butch: usually used in the lesbian or queer community for a person with more mascuiline features or way of dress, also a gender identity for some.

CAFAB: (K-Fab) Coercively Assigned Female at birth, similar to FAAB, although it is just to be used by intersex people as it underlines the fact that this assignment was against their will

CAMAB: (K-Mab) Coercively Assigned Male at birth, similar to MAAB, although it is just to be used by intersex people as it underlines the fact that this assignment was against their will

cis gender: (sis gender) Anyone whose gender identity matches their designated sex. Whenever any baby is born the doctor will proclaim it’s sex. Sometimes that child’s gender identity isn’t the same as that proclamation, when it’s not they may identify as trans* if it does match up they are cis. Etymology: same as trans, Latin, you may have heard it in math or science classes. Also they’re both used in every day language with words like transatlantic or cisalpine. Cis means on the same side, or in science/math terms when groups lie on the same side of a given plane, meaning both their gender identity and designated sex/gender are the same.

cissexism: (sis-sexism) prejudice or discrimination towards trans*people (preferable to transphobia as -phobia words can be offensive and abelism)

Clitorodynia: (Clit-or-o-die-nia) Much like vulvadynia only the condition only affects the clitoris

Cumming/cum/come/coming: Can be used to either describe orgasm, ejaculation or ejaculate.

Cunnilingus: (Cun-i-lingus) Oral sex involving a “vulva”, eating out, going down

DFAB: (Dee-Fab) Designated Female at Birth 

DMAB: (Dee-Mab) Designated Male at Birth

Ejaculation: the expelling of liquids from the genitals. This can occur in a penis or a vulva. With vulval ejaculation, true ejaculation is a secretion from the skene’s gland much like what the prostate produces to put in semen and it comes from the urethral opening. However, ejaculation can also refer to vaginal lubrication being expelled from the vagina.

Ejaculate: another name for either semen or that which is secreted from the skene’s gland, or vaginal lubrication.

FAAB: (Fab) Female Assigned at birth. This also should only be used by intersex individuals as only they have their sex assigned (sometimes through surgery)

Fellatio: (fə-ˈlā-shē-ˌō) Oral sex involving a “penis”; blow jobs, going down

Femme: used in the queer community, for more feminine features or style of dress, also a gender identity for some.

Fetish: (fe-tish) Something that is needed for sexual gratification or orgasm.

FTM: (Eff-Tee-Em) Female to male trans person, also referred to as trans man/male

Genderneutral pronouns: pronouns used either when you don’t know the gender of a person or where they prefer pronouns that aren’t gendered. Common ones are They/them or zie/hir.

Gender Roles: The social and behavioural norms for a certain gender. Ex: the male is the provider and the female cooks, cleans and raises children. Although we are starting to move past this in our society, gender roles can still be seen in society and popular media. Can especially be confusing and unhealthy in regards to non binary or non cis gender people.

GSM: (Gee-Ess-Em) Gender and Sexuality (sexual orientation) Minorities

heterosexism: (Hetero-sexism) prejudice or discrimination towards homosexual or queer people (preferable to homophobia as -phobia words can be offensive and abelism)

HRT: (ach-ar-tee) Hormone Replacement therapy, when someone is put on the hormone opposite of what is naturally the highest hormone in their body, IE going on estrogen when you are a person with more testosterone.

Intersex: a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.

Kegels: (ˈkā-gəls) Exercises for the pelvic floor muscles. They can help treat Vaginismus and menstrual cramps as well as prostate pain and inflammation.

Kink: Something that is found arousing

LGBT*: (El-Gee-Bee-Tee plus) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender. Can also refer to other gender and sexuality minorities

MAAB: (Mab) Male Assigned at birth This also should only be used by intersex individuals as only they have their sex assigned (sometimes through surgery)

Manual sex: any kind of sexual act involving hands stimulating the genitals. Also known as digital sex. 

Monogamy: Technically the sate of being married to only one person, although it’s also used for meaning only being sexually and romantically with one person. Monoamory can also be used.

Monosexism: (mono-sexism) prejudice or descrimination of people who are attracted to more than one gender (preferable to biphobia as it is more inclusive and -phobia words can be offensive and abelism)

MTF: (Em-Tee-Ef) Male to female trans person, also referred to as trans woman/female

Non-monogamy: not practicing monogamy, can include friends with benefits, open relationships, swinging, or polyamory

Orgasm: a release after a build up of pleasure. This is a feeling. It can cause physiological responses like shaking, tightening of the muscles, moaning, quickness of breath or holding your breath, or ejaculation but really this varies so much from person to person there’s not really a way for a partner to tell if you have orgasmed.

PC: (Pee-See) Politically Correct

PinV sex: (Pee- in- Vee sex )Penis in Vagina sex

POC: (Pee-Oh-See) People of Color

Polyamory: being able to love and be in a relationship with more than one person at a time

Polygamy: the state of being married to more than one person

Queer: can be used as an umbrella term for gender and sexuality minorities. Can also be used as a synonym for multisexualities like bisexuality, pansexuality or polysexuality. Can also be a term for someone that feels no other labels fit them

Relationship Structure: Almost like an orientation, some people prefer certain relationship structures. This includes monogamy, non-monogamy and polyamory.

Riding: when a person is on top of another person during sex

Romantic Attraction: Attraction to someone based on the desire to be in a romantic relationship with them.

Sexual Attraction: Attraction to someone based on arousal or sexual desire 

Smegma: (smeg-muh) secretions that get caught in folds of skin. It’s most commonly used for the white discharge like stuff found in and around foreskin but it also occurs under and around the hood of the clitoris.

SRS: (Ess-Ar-Ess) Sexual reassignment/realignment surgery. When someone goes through surgery to change body parts that socially are used to denote sex, top surgery being the removal or addition of breasts, bottom surgery being on the genitals to create either a penis or vagina.

Trans*: Anyone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Could be any gender variant or trans person

Transgender: Person who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth but does identify as a binary gender (Trans man or Trans woman for example) although it can be used interchangeably with trans* when used as an umbrella term. For example a non binary genderqueer may be under the transgender umbrella but may not identify as transgender. Etymology: same as cis, Latin. Trans means across or in science/math terms when groups lie on opposite sides of a given plane, so one plane being their designated gender/sex, the other plane being their gender identity. 

Transsexual: Basically the same as Transgender, this word is falling out of favour but if used usually use used to describe someone who is transitioning, going through hormones or surgery.

TW: (tee-Double You) Trigger warning

Vaginal Discharge: You vagina’s way of cleaning itself. Secreted from the vagina and cervix to get rid of dead cells and bacteria in the vagina.

Vaginal Ejaculation: secreted from skenes gland and is made up of the same thing secreted from the prostate found in penile ejaculation.

Vaginal lubrication: secreted from the Bartholin gland located on either side of the vagina and from the vagina itself during arousal.

Vaginismus: (Vag-in-is-mus) A medical disorder in which the muscles of the vagina clench upon penetration and make it very painful or impossible to be penetrated.

Vulva: external genitalia including the labias, clitoris, and openings of the vagina and urethra.

Vulvadynia: (Vulva-die-nia)A medical disorder in which the vulva or parts of the vulva hurt when touched or stimulate

For more information on labels:

Relationship labels

Gender and gender presentation labels

Orientation labels

Different forms of Multisexual Orientations