The Sex Ed Store
Find all the information and lessons you need to become an amazing sexuality educator!
I want many of these.
Yes, women use pornography, but the fact that women use pornography doesn’t make the dangers of pornography disappear. Rather, it brings them into sharper focus. Women who are using pornography are getting high on the same sense of control that men are. Women who are using pornography are degrading the women in their mind and hating them for the same reasons that men are. The difference is that women will many times wake up of their own accord. Since we ARE women, we see the degradation and we, just as men, train ourselves to get off to that degradation. Unlike men however, we realize that we ARE women and sometimes, oftentimes, this realization hits us when the men we’re with begin to want to degrade US in the same way that WE are degrading the women in our minds, or the women on our computers or on our TV’s.
It is then that many times we will realize the dangers and see that WE were only a tiny margin away from being THAT woman ourselves. When our partners begin to want to degrade US the way that they degrade THEM, the false distinction that we make in our own minds between US and THEM disappears entirely. Then we realize that we are just as vulnerable as they are. It is then that we understand that we are no different than the porn stars, we are just as vulnerable to men as they are, and the power and control that we believed we were getting was simply not real. It was just a phantom, and now we’re being asked to perform those same acts.
That moment comes for many women. That moment when their partners ask for the things that the porn stars did. And we recognize the trap that we’ve laid for ourselves.
—
(via whatispatriarchy)
Firstly, when I watch porn I certainly do not hate the women who are in the particular piece of porn I am watching. I am actually rather fond of them.
Secondly, degradation is lowering someone in class or merit or value. Just because a woman is filmed in a sex act does not inherently lower her value. Unless SHE feels that she is lowering her value or doing something that she doesn’t want to. In which case it is degrading. However you cannot speak to another persons feelings or emotions.
Thirdly, porn has some awesome stuff in it. Why would it be inherently bad to do stuff that you have seen in porn? Particularly if you and your partner enjoy it?
(via fieldoflilys)
^^ Someone who puts it better than I do.
(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)(via fuckyeahsexpositivity)
70% of women* CAN’T orgasm through penetration alone.
So if you’re one of those people who just happen to think you’ve only been with the 30% of women who can, let me tell you something:
You’re wrong.
Women’s bodies aren’t these terrible, mysterious things.
There is a button called the clitoris, and if you play with it enough, good things will happen.
Women, you are not abnormal if you can’t achieve orgasm through penetration alone. You are not abnormal. You are not abnormal. You are not abnormal.
Sex in tv and movies and porn almost always always always get it wrong.
*I acknowledge that not all those who identify as women have vaginae or clitorises.
(via asgardian-feminist)
Survey on Learning and Experimenting with sex
And bonus conversation topic of the day: how did experimenting and learning about sex go for you. Share here: http://fypersonalstories.tumblr.com/
With Love, from a Chronic Masturbator - How To Masturbate
It is the simplest form of making love without the complications and cuddling. Masturbation could be considered the oldest form of worship known to man. Since 1995, the month of May has been known as National Masturbation Month; commenced by the Good Vibrations retail store in San Francisco. The National Masturbation Month was created to encourage the acceptance of sexual taboos within society. This article would have been written sooner, if we were not so busy celebrating the month-long holiday.
We at FYSH are firm advocates that everyday should be devoted to loving your body. With May 1st kicking off the National Masturbation Month, we hope that you found a discrete location and allowed your hands to freely explore the godly qualities of your own flesh. Unfortunately, masturbation is not a topic generally shared with the passing of rice around the Monday night dinner table. At a young age, we are told that touching ourselves is bad and that our naughty actions will have harsh, painful consequences (it hurts so good). With this in mind, we brainstormed some helpful suggestions for first timers to keep in mind as you embark on your journey into the sweet center of yourself.
Before basting the turkey, it is important to consider both your environment and the amount of “alone time” available. Are you alone? Perhaps it is late at night or you are alone in the shower? Whatever it may be, shut off the damn phone (or set in on vibrate) and take full advantage of this time. For first timers, the ideal environment should be discrete with available noise (such as in the shower or your bedroom with background music). This writer prefers the privacy and freedom of a warm shower. The blast from the water stream works wonders to cover up any moving around or faint noises that may be freed. Do not fight moans! Enjoy them and feel the impulses travel throughout your body.
Now that you are ready to begin digging for treasures, find a comfortable position—for instance, lay down on your back or get on your fours as if doggie style. For your first time, it is better to allow yourself to lie back and play it out like a conquistador. During your explorations, it is important to take it slow and become lost in your caresses. If you have a vivid imagination, use it! Think of an intimate fantasy and touch yourself accordingly.
Imagine: It’s a hot summer day. He finds you drinking lemonade in the kitchen, only wearing a black-laced bra and shorts. The sweat drips down your chest and slides down the crevices of your cleavage. He admires your breast by revealing them and softly rubbing your nipples. Seizing your erect nipples with his lips as he kisses and sucks; he clutches you closer in a passionate kiss and you can feel his throbbing member inside his jeans. You reach to free his cock…
It’s getting steamy up in here. Now you take it from here! Think about what actions would turn you on. Your biggest sexual organ is your brain. So use it! Don’t worry about the outcome; it will be our little secret.
When masturbating, remember to be easy on your clit. The clit has twice the nerve fibers than the penis. Lubricant will help and allow your finger to comfortably slide across your exposed clit. If you find that your clit becomes numb, this may be due to too much stimulation. This is nothing to worry, just allow your genitals some R&R and try being gentle the next time. Just keep in mind, like everything in life, practice makes perfect. We do not recommend rubbing yourself with the prickly surface of a pineapple or a toothbrush, but masturbation is based on trial and error. Explore your body and learn what works for you. Just be nice to your body and have fun with yourself!
How to be Dominant in Bed
The first step to being dominant is confidence. It’s fine to be a bit insecure, but you gotta fake it till you make it! In your mind you have to think of yourself as something worthy of worship, worthy of obedience. You are an amazing sexual being! This is really all you need to be more dominant, how far you want to take that is up to you and your partner. The main thing is the mindset. To help get over insecurities you can visit this post.
Start small, try it during sexting or on the phone. Try just having a conversation where you are the aggressor. Flirt, compliment them. Look at them from a point of view where they are yours. Of course, it’s not good to objectify people in everyday life but if they want you to be dominant in bed this can be a helpful mindset.
Then start doing it in interactions during alone time with your partner. Just being around each other and flirting. Then comes the sex. Beforehand talk about what kind of thing your sub wants. Do they want dirty talk? Do they want a little foot licking? Worshiping of a certain body part? Do they want to be told what to do? Do they want to be punished? Do they want a little abuse? Think up safety words and signs if things get out of hand. Sometimes certain positions help, like you being on top. Also try them giving you oral sex with you sitting in a chair or standing up, just whatever feels the most empowering. Part of being more dominant is communication. Tell them what you want! Ask for feedback, like “You like that?” or tell them to worship you. Get a little bossy, tell them exactly what you want and how you like it. Try to incorporate what they want or certain fantasies they have. Also, teasing is great. You control their pleasure and their orgasm. Play with them. Really enjoy their body. Roleplay may help. Maybe your partner has a thing for teachers or bosses. Put yourself in a position of power, and act it out. Acting may help you get into it more. Clothes can also help a lot! Dress in what makes you feel sexy and powerful. Also, some people find props help. It can be something as simple as restraints and a blindfold or a little whip or flogger. If at any point your partner tells you to tone it down, just go back down to what you know they want and being in that dominant mindset.
You may want to check in every so often, asking if what you’re doing is okay and what they may want from you and that’s fine! Asking them what they want may give you ideas! It’s also okay if you’re not comfortable with something, like hurting your partner. Some people, especially those who were abused, sometimes have a problem with this. Talk to your partner about it. Tell them how you feel. If there’s something that’s totally off limits set that boundary. It’s okay to set that boundary. The other side of the coin, people who’ve gone through abuse who really like this, I want to say that that’s okay too. The main difference between what you were put through and what you want to do is you have consent. That’s all that matters. If you’re having trouble getting into it, a great way to get into something that you’re not particularly into is to ask them WHY they find what they find attractive. If they explain it in detail you might understand better.
Another great thing that may help is research. Watch porn and read erotica that involves a dom/sub relationship. If people start looking at you weird watching hardcore porn all the time or buying 50 Shades of Grey, just tell them it’s research from your sex education blog. Of course you have to realize that these aren’t really necessarily true to the BDSM community. This is JUST to give you ideas and get you more in the mindset. If you want to learn more about BDSM or kink I have other posts for that. You can also check out fetlife or see if there are any meet ups in your area.
First Orgasm
It took four years of failed masturbating for me to finally reach my first climax. I don’t remember the details but I was 16 when it happened. It was fabulous. I wanted to high-five someone and tell them what I’d learn how to do but I figured that wouldn’t be very socially acceptable.
