If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!
Submission: Trans Anthology About Inimacy and Sexuality
I am looking to create and publish an anthology about the intersections of transness, intimacy, and bodies. The goal is to create a multifaceted framework through stories and community knowledge that can be a resource for trans people, as well as their sexual and/or romantic partners. Examples of navigating complex experiences of intimacy are an area that needs a stronger voice, as the predominant representation of sexuality is through a cisgender perspective. Trans people often lack the voices of shared experience they need to express and understand their own narrative of sexuality. If society is to ever take trans individuals seriously as people to form intimate relationships with, or if any trans person has ever felt a lack of guidance in developing new means of intimacy, then this kind of knowledge needs to be created and shared.
Please submit a personal narrative, reflection/opinion, or dialogue/discussion.
Some thematic suggestions for a submission are, though by no means limited to:
- Language surrounding bodies, yours and others
- Touch and sensation
- Communication around needs
- Social expectations
- Sex and sex toys
- Positive/Affirming experiences
- Negative experiences
- Major personal or shared breakthroughs, such as perspective or experience of intimacy
Submissions should short, about 4-12 pages, though more or less is acceptable. People of all gender identities are encouraged to submit! I’m looking for a range of perspectives. Submissions will not be edited in their content, only their format. Please bear this in mind when you submit your piece.
Email submissions by 09/01/2014 to firstname.lastname@example.org
Please include a little about yourself so that your writing can be contextualized, as well as how you would like to be credited, as each submission will feature the name of the author or else be listed as anonymous.
I will be attempting to publish via Transgressive Press or Sotto Voce Press. Failing those, I will attempt other queer presses. Should I be unable to publish them in a traditional format, I will release the anthology for free via ebook on Amazon. Sadly, not all of those who submit will make the final iteration of the anthology; however all contributors published will receive a free book or a link to the ebook. Any profits collected from this work will be put into a trans scholarship for students.
A little about me: I am a non-binary Bay Area resident and on the cusp of finishing university. My future goals are to open a transitional housing non-profit for trans people and to be a sex educator, both of which I am actively working towards. In the spirit of education and trans activism, I am trying to put together this anthology. When I was going through my transition, examples of how to interact intimately with others and myself were hard to find. The information was out there, but buried or presented in an authoritative way sterilized of context. I struggled for over a year to find my own way, and only was able to after listening to others share their own experiences. I want to make a reference for people who are similarly struggling. I’ve wanted to contribute to the greater trans community in a meaningful way, something that wasn’t already happening. It occurred to me that many out there would benefit from such an anthology, so here I am attempting to make it real.
You can follow progress of the anthology and learn a little more about me at anthologyadventures.tumblr.com
Divide sheet of paper into four columns
At the top of each column write “Penis/testicles”, “vagina/vulva”, “breasts”, and “sex”. You can also do this with other words like masturbation, anus, or homosexuality
Look at the list and ask yourself these questions:
- which words do you feel comfortable using?
- Which words make you feel uncomfortable?
Some words have more negative connotations than others, especially when associated with what society views as female sexuality. Words for a vulva for example, are usually much more negative than words for penis. Synonyms for penis are more like to reflect power (muscle, monster), weaponry (heat-seeking missile, cannon, sword, hammer); and cunning or danger (snake), while synonyms for vulva are likely to be unpleasant (fish, ax wound, black hole). The words we learn affect the way we view sexuality and because of that the way we view orientation and gender. The terms we use for sexual intercourse also reflects our views on sex and sexuality.
Language can shape as well as reflect values. In particular, the language we use with children affects their views. For example, referring to genitals as “down there”, or with no language at all, sends the message that sexual anatomy is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
(OWL curriculum used as a source)
More sex education activities I found:
Know your rights:
1. Your touching rights…
Never to be touched in a sexual or affectionate way without your permission.
Never to be touched in a violent way except by choice (like if you choose to play football).
Never to be touched in an exploitive way.
To change your mind about touching.
To want some kinds of touch and not others.
To want to touch some people and not others.
To like touch in some times or places and not others.
To be warned if the other person knows they have an infection.
To protect yourself from infections.
To decide whether, when and with whom you’ll become a parent.
To protect yourself from unintended parenthood.
To choose to abstain from intercourse or any other sexual touching.
Not to even be touched in a nurturing way without your permission.
2. Your other rights…
To not have to look at other peoples’ private parts when you don’t want to.
To not have other people, even the doctor, look at your private parts without your permission.
Not to share private thoughts, or feelings, unless you choose to.
3. Your rights in a clinic or doctor’s office…
Never to be touched on private parts, even by the doctor, without your
To understand exactly what the nurse/doctor is checking for, what he or she finds, what he or she recommends and why.
To decide not to get a test or a treatment.
To have information about you treated confidentially.
To have a support person (friend/parent) present when you see the
doctor/nurse if you choose.
To have your touching and privacy rights respected.
. Your rights in a relationship…
Not to be lied to.
Not to be called names or put down.
To say what you feel.
To ask straight for what you want.
To have your personal thoughts and feelings kept confidential (not to have your secrets spread around).
To be listened to.
To have your feelings considered.
To have your touch and privacy rights respected.
Which of these do you agree with? Which do you not agree with? What other rights can you think of in these categories and what other rights categories do you think it’s important for teens to know?
Another activity is to think of all the different ways people can be coerced. Here’s the list they give:
Abusing a position of power
Older person taking advantage of a younger person
Drugs and alcohol
Abusing them in other ways (physical / emotional)
What are some other ways of coercing that we can think of?
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
An Anthology of Awkward Sex Comics.
I would like to invite you to submit a comic to Awkward Sex, a comics collection of short awkward sex stories to benefit Scarleteen.com! In my fantasies this comic will be a wildly funny and wonderful series of comics…
Was That a Fart?
When I was in High School I had a friend who was able to queef on command, and she was not the least bit shy about this little talent of hers. The first time she ever did this I had no idea that it was even possible to queef. I thought she had just farted! A quick YouTube search will show you that its really not all that uncommon for someone to be able to queef on command. I even found a tutorial on how to learn this skill (I’m not really sure why you’d want to, but different strokes for different folks!)
Vaginal Flatulence (also called “Fanny Fart,” “Queefing,” or “Frontal Fart”) happens when air is trapped in the vaginal canal and then expelled by contracting your muscles. Since its just air, it may be loud but its totally odorless. (If there is a distinct odor to a queef, you should go see a doctor. It could indicate a problem with the wall that separates the vaginal canal and the colon.) The air can get trapped up there in a number of different ways, the three most common being
- Penetrative Sex
- Inserting or removing a menstrual cup
- Deep stretches (like yoga)
Receiving oral sex can also cause air to get pushed inside, if your partner blows or otherwise captures air inside you. Its most likely that a queef will come about during penetrative sex when you’re switching up your positions. I personally find it happens if I switch from doggy style to the missionary position (which is why I tend to not go in that order.) As with any noise from your body, it can be a little embarrassing when it happens in the middle of sex.
But try your best to just laugh it off and ignore it. Chances are, if you acknowledge it happened and then move on, your partner will do the same, leaving you with a much less awkward situation. And if they make you uncomfortable or tease you for a perfectly natural bodily function then you should probably have a talk about respect and boundaries.