fuck yeah sex education

Sex Positive and Body Positive educational place. Includes information about different relationships, genders, sexuality, sexual preferences, safety precautions and everything else that could pertain in the education of sex. Accepting of all walks of life.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!

Ran across another term for LGBT/QUILTBAG/GSRM! 

Introducing: MOGII, Marginalized Orientations, Gender Identity, and Intersex.

Anyone heard of this one? Thoughts?

Conversation Topic of the day (kind of)

I was reading a book about gender and it mentioned about how teens (especially girls) who mature faster tend to be more sexualized. I know I’ve seen this, where girls with bigger breasts or hips are more sexualized, and men with more muscle definitions are sexualized. You can also see how this contributes to the sexualization and portrayal of certain races. Latina and Black girls are two of the most sexualized races, and they are usually portrayed in media as having larger breasts, hips, and fuller lips. The book talked about how when we see teens who are more physically developed we assume they’re more mentally developed. You hear this used a lot in rape and sexual harassment cases.

In what other ways does this stereotype affect us? One thing I can think of is in portrayals (especially comics) of different orientations.We know that bisexual people and other multisexual people are sterotyped as being more sexually promiscuous and upon reflection a lot of bisexual people are portrayed as being more voluptuous or muscular. Also I’ve seen quite a few comics of asexual people looking more androgynous, with less muscles or smaller breasts or hips.

Are there other examples of this you can see? How might this affect these groups of people? How can this be used to oppress (as most stereotypes are)? How might this affect teenagers differently than adults?

Because I found out I’m basically going to be given free reign over the curriculum I’m teaching, especially over gender and orientation inclusiveness I’m going through and editing and changing different workshops.

Here’s the current suggested workshops for Gender Identity and sexual orientation for ages 9-12. I’d like some feedback! I’ll put their recomendations in italics and them put mine in regular print

It starts with Gender Identity and Designated Sex

They start the activity with imagining being “the opposite gender” (which I won’t do because there’s no such thing as the opposite gender) and answering these questions:

          will you dress differently?
          will you have the same friends?
          will you do the same schoolwork?
          will anyone treat you differently?
          will your gender make a difference in your life?
          will you think the same way?
          will you be the same person?
          how will it feel to be a different gender?
          what will be fun about being another gender?
          what things in your life will not change if you are another gender?
          Do these differences have to happen?
          What happens when a boy behaves the way a girl is thought to behave? etc.

Basically the points of this is to 1. show that boys and girls can do whatever they want and also 2. begin a conversation about sexism. I need to figure out a way to do both.

Because this workshop comes after the puberty workshop I’m not sure if I want to just flip the two and start this one out by defining designated sex and gender or do a mini lesson on designated sex and gender on the puberty workshop. I think switching them may be easier and I’ll talk to my co-teacher about doing that.

First I’ll explain how designated sex works and about intersex people. I could go from there to talk about how people take that designated sex and gender people by that. I can ask them about what experiences they’ve had with someone they know or themselves having gender and gender roles being forced on them or what they know about in general. We can still have them answer the questions on if boys are girls should dress differently, or act differently and what kind of messages they get about that. Then we can talk about how people treat others based on their perceived gender and about sexism. Then we can talk about how some people don’t identify with the sex people assign them. We can ask them how they know what gender they are, and what life may be like if they don’t identify with their designated sex or if they’re intersex.

What’s missing from this? How does everyone feel about this? What kind of activites about this would be good for this age group?

For orientation:

they start by writing down different orientations and asking what people know or associate with them. That’d be kind of really difficult to do with how many orientations there are, What’s a way we could do this activity? We also need to explain romantic orientation. Pretty much all they have down is “lets define LGBT, how do people know what their orientation is, and is it possible to tell what orientation people are?” What else do we need to cover? What kind of activities could we have?


I make various buttons for gender, sexuality, kink and romantic pride. I also make buttons featuring male, female, intersex and transgender genitalia, including those with piercings. Check it out at https://www.etsy.com/shop/RFPCreations  And check out my Tumblr at http://ftm-transscribed.tumblr.com/

Submission: Bi/pan kerfluffle

I think a lot of the wrestling over definitions misses a major point behind the labels. Bi has a definition, pan has a definition, and within those there are nuances in how an individual personally applies it. It’s the personal nuance inside the general definition that seems to be what everyone is missing—it’s the link between “no there’s a definition for X, you can’t say it’s the same as Y, that’s ignorant and erasive” and "call yourself what you like, however you want to define it".

Nuance within a definition allows for personal detail without running over anyone else. It’s like the biological classification system: you have the big category called “bird”, and within that there’s the budgy, the hawk, and the pengiun. They’re all the same type, but have different details. Same for orientation: different details under the larger category. Bi is *generally* more than one but not all, and within that umbrella people have different details. Pan is *generally* all people/genders, and within that umbrella people focus on different details.

I’ve not run into this type of fight over gender categories. People know this is obvious with gender, that you have the larger categories with defining detail under it. The fight there is more “where is the line”, which really, isn’t so much a valid question as it is a human obsession with a need to have definite categories. Same for orientation, too—there isn’t a big fat line delineating these things. There’s wobbly areas between them when you get down to the line; but again, that doesn’t mean delineation isn’t possible, as above.

FYSE note: just one little correction.Bi is generally same gender and different genders, not more than one but not all. Many bisexuals are attracted to all genders. But you are right, it’s not about identifying others, everyone can identify themselves, but it’s important not to make preconceived notions about groups based on what you think the definition of their orientation is. 

Submission: Safer Sex and Young FAAB Dykes/Queers

Can lesbians really contract STIs? Do trans guys who only have sex with cis women really have to use barriers? Does anyone actually use dental dams? Do they work?

To be clear: this confusion about how and why to have safer sex is not because of those sexist tropes that “lesbian sex” or vulvas and vaginas are so goddamn confusing. It’s because safer sex between two people with vulvas is so rarely discussed. […]

When I first learned about safer lesbian sex as a teenager, it seemed like this highly esoteric practice. None of my early lovers knew about it and I couldn’t imagine how to bring it up. When I read about women using gloves and dams, they were always a lot older and more sexually experienced than me. Gloves and dental dams felt more like props for sexual roleplay than actual safety devices.

-Laurel Isaac, "Figuring Out How to be a Lesbian Safer Sexpert"

[An exploration of the challenges queer FAAB-people encounter to practicing safer sex, and a run down of the real risks. Read more on Scarleteen.]

Attracted to kitchen implements? Enforcing the gender binary? Labels for non-monosexuals.

Hi there, I’m Charlie Hale. I’m a fairly new blogger on the topic of Feminism, LGBT, Polyamory and Kink (Blog, Tumblr, Twitter). This is a piece on labels for non-monosexuals (bisexual? pansexual? sexual?) that I thought may be appropriate for FYSE.

Some use “bisexual”, some use “pansexual”, others just “sexual” and my personal favourite is “not fussy.” I personally use pansexual in the company of people who are likely to know what that is, and bisexual for those who won’t – but there are almost as many opinions in the topic as there are people.
I didn’t always identify as pansexual, though – I originally thought I was straight (also, a man, but that’s a point for another day), followed by bisexual with a leaning towards women… and as I slowly learned that feelings for men weren’t wrong and allowed myself to explore my feelings more, I very much found that I had no real gender preference and eventually came to pansexual.
The most important thing to say is that none of those labels arewrong.They have similar meanings, but can have different implications to different people. I use pansexual because it clicks with me – I find that I am attracted to people without concern to their gender (see also “not fussy”) and to me, pansexual works. That’s all that really matters.
Rest of the article can be found here.
FYSE: as someone who once identified as bisexual (and a woman) and now identifies as pansexual (and not a woman) this is an important topic for me and it can be really touchy because unfortunately we do have cissexist bisexuals and cissexist or bisexist pansexuals so I think all of us have had bad experiences and trying to explain yourself over and over again can make you want to scream. Long story short, we can’t identify anyone, only they can and all identities are valid and deserve respect and we all need to work on being more intersectional and helping each other become equal rather than cutting each other down and being bigots towards each other.

Pansexualism Response

I’d like to reply to the Pansexuality post, and I hope you’ll hear me out. I mean absolutely no disrespect, and I completely understand how the words of others can be hurtful and how important gender alignment is to the formation of an individual identity — I do not wish to demean these topics or take away from them in the slightest. I’d just like to offer an alternative point of view.

I am pansexual, and I wouldn’t say that someone’s gender is insignificant: I would never say that and I hope that no one would ever reach that conclusion from my words. But I am saying that if I care about a person or even find myself loving that person, I will love them even if they decide to change their gender or align with another gender or do any number of things concerning their gender. Yes, gender is important — it is an integral part of forming a personal identity.
But I feel like when someone says that gender “doesn’t matter”, what they’re really saying is that the gender identity of an individual could change or have been different from the start and they would still care deeply about that individual.
I don’t think that’s a “bad” thing, and I would hope that no one would find that offensive. I also don’t think that criticizing the way that someone else finds and expresses love is a good way to help yourself, the other person, or anyone in the community.

So perhaps it is a matter of miscommunication or misunderstanding. That’s fine, these things happen. But wouldn’t it have been great if someone had bothered to stop and say, “Hey, maybe this person isn’t trying to attack me. Maybe they’re trying to express their support and opinions and I just don’t understand what they’re saying. I’d like to try to see eye-to-eye with them. Let me talk to them some more.” I think that would be a nice reaction.
I feel like I see a lot of person-to-person hatred and attacks in a lot of different places, including Tumblr, amongst people who profess to have the same values and support the same things.
I just wonder why, then, does it seem like we can never get along?
If we support the same things and the same communities, why can’t we support each other?

I think it would be a nice change if everyone who shares a community could stop jumping down the throats of everyone else in that very same community and demanding that everyone conform to the exact same opinion that one individual has. It would be nice if we could support each other and respect the differences in our ideas and have kind discourse with each other to bring differences to light without demeaning the other person’s point of view? What is with this whole idea of being a “good queer community member” and being a “bad” one? Or a “good”/”bad” member of any community?

I guess what I’m saying, ultimately, is that I don’t think that tearing down other community members and criticizing the way that they support your shared community is a good way to improve support and acceptance in that community. And, seemingly, the queer community has too many other opponents who wish to do legitimate harm to its members and its goals for queers to be bickering amongst themselves. Stand together in solidarity and we will become stronger, both individually and as a community.

I would like to do that. I would like to support anyone and everyone in my communities, and I would like to improve my methods of supporting people. I would like most of all to encourage support throughout the community for all members, regardless of the different ways in which we express our support.

That’s all I’m saying.

Thanks for reading.

FYSE: I saw your original response and the conversation you had with other tumblrs and I think that you now know more about this subject.

Basically, the community was made exclusive. There are a lot of gay men who hate lesbians and think all women are gross (and as this is usually based around vaginas this is incredibly cissexist), gay men and women who think bisexuals and other multisexuals are greedy or confused, pansexuals who think bisexuals are binarist and cissexist by nature, all of the above thinking asexual people aren’t real or just have hormonal problems, people thinking demisexuality is just “special snowflake syndrome”, bisexuals who think pansexuals and other identities are “special snowflake syndrome”, and all of the above who think that transgender people aren’t real, that their identities aren’t relevant, and all of the above thinking that non binary people aren’t real or just “special snowflake syndromes”. There’s a LOT of inequality in the community and that’s something I talk about. It’s important for multisexuals who say things like “I’m gender blind” or “gender isn’t important” or similar to know that regardless of their intent those statements are cissexist and oppressive towards trans* people. You can say that gender isn’t a determining factor for you, you can say that you love people regardless of what their gender is but you have to acknowledge that gender is important, that it’s a real thing, and it needs to be respected because otherwise you are contributing to the oppression of trans* people.

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