This book’s target audience is disabled people interested in dating, sex, and alternative lifestyles. The intention is to have essays that can educate people that range from the young novice who might not believe that disabled people even can have romantic relationships to people who want applicable information on safer and more accessible sexual practices. What we need you to do is pick something you know about, even if you’re not an expert in it, and write an essay to people of visible and invisible disabilities who might rely on what you write to change their lives.
Suggested topics are:
- How to speak to someone you’re interested in
- How and when to discuss your disability with the would-be partner
- What to prepare for when meeting a partner’s friends and family
- Accessible dating options
- Online dating and inevitably how to mention you are disabled
- How to express your specific sexual needs or inabilities to your partner
- Tips on how to have sex with limited movement, sensation, etc. and how to avoid pain or injuries that would otherwise not be a problem
- Tips on Masturbation with limited movement, sensation, etc.
- Participating in the LGBTQ community and making sure your limitations are accounted for
- Introductions into the BDSM community and information on how dom–sub relationship can be beneficial and healing for disabled people
- Introductions into the devotee community
- Suggestions and advice on how to identify someone who may be dangerously fetishizing you
- Information on the high rates of abuse and molestation of disabled people with practical advice on how to protect yourself despite an array of limitations
- Risks in pregnancy and information on how to have the safest pregnancy and birth possible
- Advice for the social condemnation that comes with being a disabled parent
- And any other subject that falls within these themes.
Are you a disabled stripper? Are you a disabled matchmaker? Are you a disabled person that has a genuinely interesting and valuable personal story that can contribute to this collection? I want your submissions. Be as quaint or explicit as you like, be as poetic or textbook–esque as works best for you.
Not all submissions may be accepted due to the risk of having too much of one subject being rehashed, so my suggestion to you is to be as informative as possible as well as to put a real signature touch with personal examples in your piece. I will not reject anything that I find educational and empathetic; if this results in encyclopedia size book, so be it.
Submission guidelines
Genre: Nonfiction. All submissions must be an essay on either specific subject or your personal experience
Length: No limitations
Content rating: No limitations. If you are writing about sexual practices we encourage you to be specific as possible given that you must address people’s limitations and methods of accessibility
Number of submissions per person: one unless otherwise agreed upon with the editor (me)
Submissions are open and must be e-mailed to me at hgiel@live.com no later than December 31, 2012. Your submission must be in document format, in English, have a title, and have a short biography of the writer at the end. You need not use your real name; we will accept pennames.
There will be no monetary payment for submitting, as this book will be nonprofit but each person who gets accepted will receive a free paperback copy.
It was recently believed that I would be funding this project out of pocket but Good Mourning Publishing has decided to publish this book for us as a companion to the book Accessible Love Stories, an anthology of romance stories featuring disabled people that they published earlier this year. They’ve been gracious enough to understand the purpose of this new book and will set the price at cost as planned, which means they’ll make no profit from the sales so if you can, please buy a copy of Accessible Love Stories because the profits will go into funding this new book. The e-book version is only a few dollars on Amazon.
The book’s title and cover are still pending but I’m accepting submissions right away. If you have any questions or concerns send them into my blog Gimpunk or e-mail me personally at hgiel@live.com
(via fuckthedisabled)
Conversation Topic of the Day:
LOVE
Does it exist?
What is it?
What constitutes love?
Are there any rules?
Can it ever go away?
Is there an age limit?
Is there a limit on individuals you can love?
Is there a limit on the kind of individuals (objects, animals, people etc.) that you can love?
reblogging for the night crowd. Chime in!
Conversation Topic of the Day:
LOVE
Does it exist?
What is it?
What constitutes love?
Are there any rules?
Can it ever go away?
Is there an age limit?
Is there a limit on individuals you can love?
Is there a limit on the kind of individuals (objects, animals, people etc.) that you can love?
Things I’ve learned about sex only through having it
-Keeping your fingernails reasonably trimmed is of the essence.
-It’s really not that difficult at all to take your partner’s bra off.
-The vaginal opening is further back than I had expected.
-Condoms have a smell. Not necessarily a bad smell, but it’s definitely there.
-Once in a while the penis falls out of the vagina. It just happens.
-It’s fun to just mindlessly play with your partner’s genitals afterwards.
-Washing my nose is a must after I perform oral.
-If we’re doing non-penetrative things to each other in turns, I have to do her first. If she does me first, I wind up too drained to return the favor as competently as I should be able to.
-Shower sex is tricky. Even when you find a position that’s comfortable, there’s still the obstacle of someone potentially getting blasted with water in the face, or someone getting no water at all and being cold.
-Silly happenings during sex is inevitable once in a while. Learn to laugh at it.
I disagree on the bra point, but the last two are so true.
Being “Friendzoned”
“WHY DO I ALWAYS GET FRIENDZONED? SHE ALWAYS PICKS THE ASSHOLE OVER ME. I’M A NICE GUY.”
“I LISTEN TO HER WHEN SHE HAVE PROBLEMS; MY SHOULDER IS THERE FOR HER TO CRY ON WHEN SHE’S DUMPED OR CHEATED ON; I’M ALWAYS THERE FOR HER WHEN SHE NEEDS SOMEONE THE MOST! WHY WON’T SHE LOVE ME?”
“WOMEN WHO DON’T WANT TO DATE THEIR GUY FRIEND IS JUST A SLUT AND A DAMN TEASE!”
And on and on.
Dear Men,
How fucking dare you IMPLY that women are not allowed to have male friends, especially if she’s already taken.
How fucking dare you IMPLY that woman are not allowed to have male friends, especially if YOU want to date her but she doesn’t feel the same way.
Who the FUCK are you to bitch and whine about how your female friend is a slut because she DARED exercise her freedom to REJECT your advancements; to REJECT your proposal to sex; to REJECT your proposal to a romantic relationship?
The THREE Situations of Being Friendzoned:
1.
- You have a female friend.
- You have been friends with her for ten years.
- Your female friend has been in a long-term relationship.
- The long-term relationship has always been rocky.
- Your female friend has always gone to you for comfort.
- You feel your female friend deserves better.
- You ask your female friend to abandon her long-term relationship for you.
- She says that she loves you as a friend and only as a friend.
- You bitch and moan and tell her how ungrateful she is.
Congratulations. You’re a selfish, self-centered prick. You have just proven to her why she only loves you as a friend.
2.
- You have a female friend.
- You have been friends with her for ten years.
- In those ten years, you have stuck by her through her numerous, failed relationships.
- You feel she deserves better.
- You ask your female friend to be with you.
- She tells you that she loves you, but only as a friend.
- You bitch and moan and tell her how ungrateful she is.
Congratulations. You’re a selfish, self-centered prick. You have just proven to her why she only loves you as a friend.
3.
- You have a female friend.
- You have been friends with her for ten years.
- You know she only loves you as a friend.
- You continue to stick around, watching her date “asshole” after “asshole”.
- You take advantage of her after every breakup, when she’s emotionally vulnerable, pushing and demanding that she tell you why she won’t date you.
- She keeps telling you that she loves you as a friend; that she doesn’t want to ruin what the two of you already have; she’s just not interested in you in that sort of way.
- You bitch and moan and tell her how ungrateful she is; you call her a slut and a tease.
Congratulations. You’re a selfish, self-centered prick. You have just proven to her why she only loves you as a friend.
Let me fucking tell you something: When your female friend, or ANY woman for that matter, tells you NO, then take the fucking hint. Do not act like a little child who didn’t get his toy train for Christmas. The both of you came together as friends and for the longest time, she believed there was a mutual understanding. You suddenly wanting something more then getting upset with HER when she doesn’t want to the same as you makes you SELFISH and immature.
A woman is not a “tease” or a “whore” because she prefers male friends over female friends; she is not “leading you on” all because she doesn’t want to comply with YOUR wishes of wanting her to be with you; she is not a “heartless/shallow bitch” because she’s not sexually/romantically interested in you or your type but still sees you as a loyal and dependable friend.
The only one who is a bitch in any of this is YOU. Instead of respecting her wishes and either keeping the friendship or moving on, you treat her like shit because, what? YOU DIDN’T GET YOUR WAY? Because you FEEL like she somehow OWES you for the years you were her friend?
You don’t call the shots in ANYTHING that concerns a woman, much less who she should and should not be interested in. Get the fuck over yourselves, you fucking tittybabies, and stop blaming females for your unwarranted asshurt.Then there’s also this breakdown:
- You’re not a real friend if you do this.
- You don’t deserve anyone you do this to.
- You don’t really love someone if you do this to them, romantically or platonically.
- You’re not actually a nice person if you do this.
(via horriblesexeducation)
Why Can’t We Have Good Articles About Polyamory?
by Dr. Charlie Glickman
(Source: rileyxxx, via loversintransition)
Request For Input: How Do Poly Folks Manage Attachment In Your Relationships?
by Dr. Charlie Glickman
(Source: rileyxxx, via loversintransition)
Anonymous asked: in your opinion, do you think you should have to be in love to lose your virginity to someone?
Not at all. Whenever you’re ready to have sex is fine. You don’t have to be in love to have sex, you just have to want to have sex.
PTSD and Relationships
How does trauma affect relationships?
Trauma survivors with PTSD often experience problems in their intimate and family relationships or close friendships.
PTSD involves symptoms that interfere with trust, emotional closeness, communication, responsible assertiveness, and…
YES. All of this.
This is a good read. SO much truth.
(Source: janejacqueline)
Sex Tip: Love Your Body
Look at yourself naked in a full-length mirror for five minutes a day and focus on what you love about your body If this feels awkward, get ready or blow out your hair while standing naked in front of the mirror. By getting used to your unique shape, you’ll gain confidence that will naturally spill over into your sex life and make you twice as enticing to your guy.
YESSSSS (although this isn’t just applicable to guy/girl relationships)
