If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!
Awesome! I mean, it really depends on the people involved and their boundaries of course but if two friends want to have sex I think it’s totally fine.
just talk to him about it! Say “Hey you want to have sex again like on a regular basis with no strings attached?” Just be sure to always use protection and you’ll be fine!
Just be honest. If you have someone you like and you think they might like you to just be like “hey would you be interested in being my friend with benefits?” As long as you keep the line of communication open and make sure everyone gets what they want and are comfortable with you’ll be fine.
Take a minute with yourself, maybe meditate, control your breathing. Really think about sex with this person. This is a friend of yours, go through your memories with them and remind yourself that this is a person you care for. That’s really all the tips I have, maybe a follower will have more? Don’t worry about it too much, just focus on making sure you both have a good sexual experience.
That’s a good point. Even strict parents can understand the benefit on going on birth control.
So, this whole thing is for experience, self-esteem, perhaps getting over some intimacy issues I have with “boyfriends.” I’ve thought it through, and feel comfortable with the decision. But I want to be responsible, and do all the right health stuff. So, is there any way I could be healthy without telling my parents and going to gyno and stuff, and if not, could you give me some ideas on how to convince them? They’re generally open. Do you think it’s worth telling them? Love the blog
Planned Parenthood and free clinics can give you testing services for a reduced price, although it differs from place to place as to whether it would be free. As far as contraception goes, you can get condoms from planned parenthood and some free clinics or sexual health clinics for free and if you get approved for family planning medicaid you can get birth control for free as well. As far as talking to your parents goes, no one but you knows how they’ll react. I have really open and understanding parents so it was really easy to talk to them about going on birth control and getting tested. You can try to open the subject by just asking what they think about friends with benefits or open relationships and go from there. I wish you all the good luck!
friends with benefits thing with him. I said no at first, but now we’re talking a lot more and I just think, I wanted it to be him, I still do want it to be him, I’m going to Magaluf in the Summer and frankly I don’t want to go a virgin and I aren’t going to get in a meaningful relationship between now and then, so it’s not like there’s someone else I want to lose it too. I should just go for it, and if I’m lucky something could come even from it. Am I being stupid? I’ve thought about it a lot and I think it’s what I want but y’know … what would you do?
Do whatever makes you happy and whatever you want! Don’t feel pressure to have sex if that’s not what you want, it’s perfectly fine for you to not have had sex before. The first time I had intercourse was in a friends with benefit situation and although it wasn’t really fun or meaningful, it wasn’t a totally horrible situation and it was a new experience that taught me a lot. Your first time should be totally about you. It’s also better if it’s with someone that actually cares about your pleasure. Selfish lovers make crappy first time lovers. Just do what you feel is right and be safe and have fun!
Every relationship is different. Every person’s views on how relationships should go are different. This is why communication is so very important, especially in this day and age where people feel free to not be stuck in the stigma that you have to find one person to give yourself to fully and never ever separate and get married and have 2.5 children and a puppy and a white picket fence (although if you want that or any variation of that it’s a okay too!). You need to have a conversation with any prospective partner up front about what you want from your encounter. It might take a while, but you’ll find someone who has similar views as you (or is willing to compromise or try out your ideals).
The first thing that you must discuss is “What counts as cheating for you?” Some people think loving another person or just spending a lot of time with them can count as cheating, while others think only kissing or sex is cheating. Some people say “You can do anything but-” and put a limit on what kind of sexual activity you can partake in. Some think it’s okay as long as there is protection or no emotional attachment. Other people count a certain gender of partner as not cheating. Only agree to whatever you’re comfortable with. If someone can’t agree to your terms or you don’t feel comfortable with their terms it might not be a good fit for you.
For some people, multiple partners provide a spice to their sex life. It might be a one time thing or a repeated act of hooking up with other couples or a third party for sex. This can be referred to as “Swinging”. Sometimes there will be a certain sex act that one partner is into (like BDSM or some kink) that another isn’t comfortable with so they may let the other visit someone else to fulfill those desires. They may put a condition that they have to be present at the time or they may not want to even hear about the encounter.
That all depends on your perception of monogamy. What if you don’t want to be monogamous at all? Nonmonogamy is when monogamy is not part of your relationship. This can encompass many different things. There are people who identify as Polyamorous (although this is a misnomer, poly is greek and amor is latin. I just haven’t come across an appropriate term for it). Polyamorous, generally speaking, is the ability to feel love and affection for more than one person. There are lots of different types of polyamorous relationships. There are people with multiple significant others or partners. If their partners are also Poly they could have their own multiple S/O. Some groups decide to all be together, while some keep their relationships separate. It’s a good idea to make sure everyone can at least get along. It’s also imperative to make sure the lines of communication are kept open. Polyamorous relationships can still involve jealousy, it just depends on how well you deal with it.
Some polyamorous people like to keep it more casual. They might be involved with open relationships where both partners are allowed to do as they wish- as long as they come back to each other at the end. Some people have friends-with-benifits type situations, where they just develop intimate relationships with people they are already close to. In a nonmonogamous relationship, feelings may not be a part of some of your relationships. Polyamory always involves love and feelings, but not with nonmonogamy. Nonmonogamous people may not love any or all of their partners and one or more of there relationships are based solely on sex or other strong emotions.
What if sex isn’t even part of the relationship? There are a lot of people who are Asexual. Some Asexual people still have intimate relationships though they feel no need to have sex. Sometimes they even take part in sex though it might not be one of their desires. You don’t need sex to have a valid relationship, there are many non-sexual forms of intimacy. Don’t feel pressured to do anything you’re not interested in or don’t like. If you just want to cuddle, just cuddle! Again, communication of your boundaries are super important.
What if sex is the only part of the relationship? It’s fine to have casual sex, as long as you use contraceptives. You don’t have to commit to anyone, just go out and have fun if that’s what you enjoy.
There are many types of relationships, no way I could touch on them all in one post. Each relationship is unique and is up for you and any partners you may have to decide on boundaries. Always tell partners what you’re comfortable with and what you want from the relationship. Continue with it until it stops being fun and beneficial to you. Sometimes you’ll need to reevaluate what you want from relationships and your ideals may change. Always feel secure enough to let your partner know and try something else if the need arises.