fuck yeah sex education

Follower Submission

Sat, 18 May 2013 00:53:44 -0500

I think a lot of problems that people come across in their sex lives have to do with the lack of breadth of what they’ve learned about sexuality. Detailed sex ed that I’ve encountered elsewhere is great, but it also tries to be exact about what happens in a certain situation, rather than emphasizing that ‘everyone is different’. I’ve seen so many posts, here and elsewhere, from people saying they ‘can’t get wet’, ‘can’t orgasm’, ‘can’t have multiple orgasms’, etc. Because folks learn that some people can have multiple orgasms, or feel pleasure from XYZ thing, they tend to think that that is everyone’s experience- so if it is not theirs, it’s a pathology. It helped ruin my last physical relationship that I was the only partner out of 7 that my partner had dated that didn’t orgasm, squirt, like the same fetishes or have the same concept of sexuality. He knew all about their kind of sexuality from his reading, but not that others could be different. If only he had instead learned that everyone is different, and that’s normal! And not in a superficial sort of way, but a manner in which differences are freely discussed and truly emphasized as good things. I wish we were more tolerant of other people’s different experiences.

FYSE: Agreed!

"If we define sexual orientation based on anatomy, as most people do, who would an intersex person be..."

Fri, 17 May 2013 14:13:51 -0500

“If we define sexual orientation based on anatomy, as most people do, who would an intersex person be expected to be with in order to be heterosexual? We are destructive to heteronormativity, to the notion of “men and women”, even to ideas like “gay” and “lesbian” if we define sexual orientation purely by anatomy. So what’s next? Where do we go from here? And how do we get there without violating the bodies and identities of more intersex people?”

- Identity Theft: A Trans* Intersex Woman On Traumas and Surgery (via moreglitter)

This is why I talk about orientations based on gender, not genitals. Heterosexuality is the sexual attraction to people of a different gender, homosexuality is the sexual attraction to people of the same gender.

We now have 18,010 followers! Thank you new followers, a lot of you have just started following us...

Wed, 15 May 2013 16:05:58 -0500

We now have 18,010 followers! Thank you new followers, a lot of you have just started following us yesterday. Feel free to explore the FAQ and archive and if you have any questions you can ask us on the ask blog. Be warned, we’re really backed up at the moment but I have a lot of new posts and videos on the to-do list.

olindiasa answered: I think it would be better to donate the proceeds to non specific cancer orgs....

Wed, 15 May 2013 02:28:19 -0500

olindiasa answered: I think it would be better to donate the proceeds to non specific cancer orgs. Breast Cancer already has an excess of moolah

FYSE: I’ll have a few different organizations you can choose from, definitely including Planned Parenthood (I may be making a shirt just for planned parenthood donations, just because it’s one of the few places I can get medical assistance as someone without insurance and I always feel bad for not having money to donate to it). If here are any organizations people would like to suggest be included on that list please feel free to let me know.

Back in High School I wanted to make a non-profit that made custom t-shirts about various causes where all the proceeds went to various organizations for those causes so as we come up with more ideas I may make more t-shirt projects like this.

Definitely going to be doing the t-shirts since it’s gotten so many notes so quickly. I am in...

Tue, 14 May 2013 20:20:49 -0500

Definitely going to be doing the t-shirts since it’s gotten so many notes so quickly. I am in the process of setting up an etsy for this as well as other t-shirts I’ve been working on. You can look at what I have so far here I’m still playing around with materials to figure out what produces the clearest and most professional looking design. Hopefully in the next few weeks I’ll have more up to show you, including the “Save people, not boobies” t-shirt. For $9 you can get a custom tank top or t-shirt, although we can also do vests, jackets, and other type of clothing although this may cost extra. Currently also looking at maybe doing patches which would probably only cost $4-5

For the Save people t-shirt I’ll make a list of organizations that help work to the treatment, screening, education, and working towards a cure for breast cancer and you can choose what organization you want your money sent to. You can also opt to donate more money if you want. All of your money will be donated. If I am broke and out of materials I may use a couple dollars here and there to buy materials but that is it, hopefully I’ll be able to sell enough other products to not have to do that.

I’ll let you know when I make new products or try out new materials.

Other shirts on my list to make

“Just Say No to Abstinence-only Education”

“Talk Consensual To me”

“Gender: It’s not what’s in your pants”

“I don’t date anti-choicers”

“I <3 sex education”

“Sex Education Army”

“The Secret to great sex: communication, consent, experimentation, practice”

I really want to make some about Kink, some of the possibilities include:

” I <3 You” (with the heart made up of handcuffs and a paddle)

“Don’t yuck my yum”

“what’s your safe word?”

“Yes I like BDSM, no not like 50 Shades.”

I also really want to do some on street harassment, communication, boundaries, and virginity being a social construct and sex positivity.

If anyone has any ideas on things they’d like to see, let me know!

If I were to make t-shirts that said “Save people, not boobies”, with proceeds going to...

Tue, 14 May 2013 18:09:07 -0500

If I were to make t-shirts that said “Save people, not boobies”, with proceeds going to breast cancer organizations (that aren’t the Susan G. Komen foundation or any other organizations with similar practices) would people buy them?

entropyandflux: thisgingerisback: Angelina Jolie announces a double mastectomy to save her life,...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:01:05 -0500

entropyandflux:

thisgingerisback:

Angelina Jolie announces a double mastectomy to save her life, people get fucking pissed and act like she’s lost everything that’s made her worthwhile in the first place, AND YOU WONDER WHY I FUCKING HATE THE “SAVE THE BOOBIES” TROPE.

BECAUSE NO ONE ACTUALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THE WOMAN’S LIFE. WOMEN JUST HAPPEN TO BE ATTACHED TO A PAIR OF BREASTS. WOMEN AREN’T WORTH SAVING—BUT YOU BET YOUR ASS THE PUBLIC WILL BE IN A RIOT IF A GOOD PAIR OF TITS IS IN DANGER.

THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS THIS!

Since I’ve posted before about my disdain for a lot of objectifying breast cancer campaigns, I figured this would be really relevant.

Oh Joy Sex Toy

Tue, 14 May 2013 15:06:54 -0500

Oh Joy Sex Toy:

http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/introduction/

Oh Joy Sex Toy is a new webcomic by Erika Moen which is made up of comic reviews of various sex toys, or other sex and sexuality related things.

I thought it may be helpful for any of you looking to find good reviews out there. So far she has one on the Hitachi Magic Wand and Pink lube, both of which I found very helpful.

I’m definitely keeping an eye on it!

Be warned there may be some gendering language, so far it’s been good on avoiding them but Erika has been guilty of being not exactly trans* friendly in the past.

Photo

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:13:43 -0500

myfirsthomelandshavebeenbooks: This New York Times parenting...

Mon, 13 May 2013 17:47:10 -0500

myfirsthomelandshavebeenbooks:

This New York Times parenting blog asks ‘Are Body and Sex Education Books for Parents or Kids?’ The comments section has a wide array of answers, opinions, and tips.

I’m hoping to eventually get and review a couple of these!

"It’s okay to say “no” if you change your mind. We allow you to change majors and change direction..."

Sat, 11 May 2013 16:00:56 -0500

“

It’s okay to say “no” if you change your mind. We allow you to change majors and change direction and change clothes, with no repercussions other than possibly wasted time. If his touch is too forceful and his breath too hot and his weight too much, you are not bound to your previous decision. If your mimd is screaming and your nerves are sizzling, they are as valid then and now as they were five minutes ago, when you were saying yes.

It’s okay to say “no” if you were flirting. Batted eyelashes and sly smirks and witty words do not form a map to your uncharted territory. Your playfulness does not relieve them of their self control. Your allure does not diminish their responsibility to be respectful. The only path you led them on is that of the unknown, of which the rules of the road still apply.

It’s okay to say “no” if you’re unsure.

It’s okay to say “no” if you’re embarrassed.

It’s okay to say “no” when they tell you it isn’t okay to say “no.”

”

- When It’s Ok To Say “No” (via id0l—ofr0ses)

pplm: Sex ed should start before puberty. Check out this great...

Thu, 09 May 2013 16:54:11 -0500

pplm:

Sex ed should start before puberty. Check out this great article by Robbie Harris, author of It’s Perfectly Normal, about why sex education matters - then help us fight for comprehensive sex ed by signing our petition!

This is the first book I’m going to do a review on!

Apparently YouTube has flagged my stimulating the vulva as innapropriate for minors. This is the...

Wed, 08 May 2013 16:17:09 -0500

Apparently YouTube has flagged my stimulating the vulva as innapropriate for minors. This is the video I show vulval, vaginal, and anal anatomy and how to stimulate them with a clay model. The penile video has not been flagged. HMM I WONDER WHY.

I don’t know if this’d be anything anyone would be interested in but I’m...

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:27:05 -0500

I don’t know if this’d be anything anyone would be interested in but I’m collecting childrens books about various subjects including sexuality, mental health, abuse, bullying, orientation, gender, and other important subjects. I was thinking about starting writing little reviews on books I’m able to get and maybe posting them somewhere. Would this be something followers here would like to see? Early education about life issues is important and I think knowing what books to read to the children in your life would be helpful.

jovan1984: May is Mental Health Awareness Month, folks!

Mon, 06 May 2013 19:33:44 -0500

jovan1984:

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, folks!

Polycule: Your Sexual Health Rights

Mon, 06 May 2013 15:07:10 -0500

Polycule: Your Sexual Health Rights:

polycule:

Your basic human rights when it comes to enjoying a positive sexual experience that is CONSENSUAL, respectful, and protected, and on YOUR TERMS.

The right to make your own decisions about being sexual (or not), regardless of your partner’s wishes.
This means that you can choose not to be…

Elizabeth Smart: Abstinence Education Teaches Rape Victims They’re Worthless, Dirty, And Filthy

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:13:52 -0500

Elizabeth Smart: Abstinence Education Teaches Rape Victims They’re Worthless, Dirty, And Filthy:

TW: Sexual abuse

Elizabeth Smart became a household name after she was kidnapped from her home in Salt Lake City, UT at the age of 14 and held in captivity for nine months. She was forced into a polygamous marriage, tethered to a metal cable, and raped daily until she was rescued from her captors nine months later. Smart was recovered while she and her kidnappers were walking down a suburban street, leading many Americans who followed her story on the national news to wonder:Why didn’t she just run away as soon as she was brought outside?
Speaking to an audience at Johns Hopkins about issues of human trafficking and sexual violence, Smart recently offered an answer to that question. She explained that some human trafficking victims don’t run away because they feel worthless after being raped, particularly if they have been raised in conservative cultures that push abstinence-only education and emphasize sexual purity:

Smart said she “felt so dirty and so filthy” after she was raped by her captor, and she understands why someone wouldn’t run “because of that alone.”

Smart spoke at a Johns Hopkins human trafficking forum, saying she was raised in a religious household and recalled a school teacher who spoke once about abstinence and compared sex to chewing gum.

“I thought, ‘Oh, my gosh, I’m that chewed up piece of gum, nobody re-chews a piece of gum, you throw it away.’ And that’s how easy it is to feel like you know longer have worth, you know longer have value,” Smart said. “Why would it even be worth screaming out? Why would it even make a difference if you are rescued? Your life still has no value.”

Now in her mid-twenties, Smart runs a foundation to help educate children about sexual crimes. She now believes that children should grow up learning that “you will always have value and nothing can change that.”

Social psychologists and sexual abuse counselors agree that comprehensive sex education can help prevent sexual crimes. Teaching children about their bodies gives them the tools to describe acts of abuse without feeling as embarrassed or uncomfortable, and it also helps elevate their self-confidence and sense of bodily autonomy. A shame-based approach to genitalia and sexuality, on the other hand, sends kids the message that they can’t discuss or ask questions about any of those issues.

When I went through abstinence only education they did an activity where they put different activity from holding hands to intercourse around the room and asked everyone how far they would go, and how far their parents would be okay with them going. I refused to do the exercise because I thought it was inappropriate and my parents trusted me to be safe and make decisions for myself. Now that I look back on that I can’t imagine how traumatic that could have been to someone who had been sexually abused. We need to keep this in mind when discussing sex education.

NV lawmaker gets death threats after telling her abortion story during sex ed hearing

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 12:27:09 -0500

NV lawmaker gets death threats after telling her abortion story during sex ed hearing:

I suppose I should have seen it coming. As I sat listening to Nevada Assemblywoman Lucy Flores’ compelling, raw testimony during an April 1 hearing on a comprehensive sex education bill (AB230), I should have paid closer attention to the gasps of horror that came from the opposing side. I should have recognized it as the epicenter of a grand shock-wave that had yet to hit. Because that was the moment when Flores, Nevada’s first Latina assemblywoman, announced publicly for the first time that she had an abortion at age 16.

Please help my friend Kelton afford top surgery by posting his...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 11:33:44 -0500

Please help my friend Kelton afford top surgery by posting his indiegogo,

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/help-kelton-afford-top-surgery

signal boost!

Some thoughts on being a disabled bi trans person and the idea of passing.

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:20:32 -0500

nooffswitch:

Big huge disclaimer: I’m only talking about myself here not everyone else in the history of ever.This might only apply to my area of the world suburban PA. Your mileage may vary on this subject based on your own situation and stuff.Trigger Warnings: Transphobia,ableism,biphobia,bierasure,cissexism,

Still there? Ok it’s under here:

A few weeks(months?) back there was a whole lot of talk about how bisexuals are the devil because we can be in “straight” relationships and pass the all important hand holding test with our partners.A bunch of people were douchelords about it.I mentioned that this idea is cissexist and relies on the idea that at a glance you can always 100% know what someones gender or sex is.I got told I’m not allowed to say that or mention it.I’m still a bit confused to exactly WHY I’m not supposed to.But I’ll take the inevitable coal racking that comes with posting these things here anyways.

I don’t look or pass in anyway as “straight”.At this point I am read as either:

1:an adorably fat young teenage(if I’m lucky) 20 something guy.

2: A butch lesbian

That would be me just standing there in space.Not with my cane.But maybe sitting in a chair in some waiting room type thing.Now if you add in my cane you suddenly materialize a whole new world of options.Most of which somehow obliterate any and all gender from me.Suddenly I’m not any gender or sexuality.Suddenly I am just the cane. It becomes this weird fixture in peoples minds. Before where my body had a million questions for them, “are you a girl or a boy” “are you stone in bed ?” it suddenly silences them. In it’s place are questions like “Why do you have that?” “You are to young to use that!” “Does it hurt if I poke you here?”

Both sets of questions assume an insane level of familiarity with me and a right to my body.If I’m read as a guy but open my mouth and a noise comes out and destroys that illusion suddenly the trans questions hit me.If I’m read as a queer woman the queer questions hit me.As soon as the cane appears it doesn’t matter what I do, say or wear it takes over all.

The same is true when I am partnered with someone else. My partners and I are assumed to be lesbians one way or conversely if I am read as male two gay men.Sometimes depending on who I am with the other person and I are read as two queer friends or a straight friend and their queer BFF.I am also not physically affectionate in public with my romantic partners. So all this would have to be done in the context of two people standing near each other talking,riding in a vehicle or sitting at a table.

My body, my presentation everything is read almost universally as “queer” or “not straight”. Yes I do receive the requisite tranasphobia and gay bashing that goes along with it, both overtly and in the form of micro aggressions.

Now add the cane.

Again suddenly it doesn’t matter who I am with, or what they look like.The focus is immediately on why I have it, how, when, etc. It doesn’t matter if I look like I’m in an “gay” or “straight” relationship or none at all. The only added thing of being with another person is that they are no longer assumed in any way to be a romantic partner.They become my care giver.

In America we do not view disabled people as beings capable of love,sex and romance. Whether that is queer or straight romance in my experience (not everyone’s) doesn’t seem to matter.The very idea of a disabled person daring to be on a date, or even just outside of the house is a bigger deal then who I am walking around wal mart looking for a toilet brush with. I’ve been told so.That I am “brave” and an “inspiration” for “dealing with so much and still daring to go out” (by go out the cashier meant “go to the store for groceries) Not a week earlier the same cashier had demanded to see my id when I bought some cough syrup and examined the photo and gender marker very closely to determine if what my “real” gender was. Add a cane? Suddenly I’m not some vaguely gendered threat to people every where with my bottle of cherry cough syrup I am an ~inspiration~.

I’ve seen the looks of pity and of what I like to call the “Hallmark sees a disabled person look”. The look where able bodied people look at you and you KNOW in their mind they are getting misty eyes and going “good for you!!” directed at both me and partners.

Before I became disabled myself I was the partner of a disabled person myself.I’ve seen it from both sides.At the time we would have been read as two queer women.But as soon as people noticed that she was blind and walked with a cane I was no longer read as her partner but as her care giver.

Read as queer, read as straight, read as cis or as visibly trans.It doesn’t much matter for me because the cane, the visible disability erases all of that and replaces it with a sexless,genderless, romance less, loveless blob of personal medical questions,hallmark looks and sad faces from others over my “sorry state”

Of course I don’t speak for all bi, trans* or disabled people world wide.This is just my personal experience living where I do when I do with all the privileges and draw backs that comes with..

As a disabled, queer, trans* person I think about this a lot. I sometimes find that the days when my gender dysphoria is the worst is whenever I’m having a huge pain flare. Sometimes it feels like my body is fighting against me on two fronts; my disabilities and my gender.