If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!
In Light Of The New 50 Shades of Grey Trailer
E.L. James knows as much about BDSM as she would have found in a five minute Google search, which is to say that she knows precisely jack shit.
50 Shades of Grey does not depict a realistic kinky relationship, nor does it depict a healthy relationship of either the kinky or vanilla variety.
It is a Twilight fanfic, and has all the elements of Edward and Bella’s abusive relationship with kink added for extra flavor. Just as Edward and Bella are not a healthy or realistic couple, neither are Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.
Christian Grey is an abuser who manipulates a young woman with zero knowledge of BDSM into a relationship with him. He knows she is ignorant of what a healthy BDSM relationship looks like, and uses this to:
- ignore and override her attempts at negotiation,
- play without a safeword (since she doesn’t know that they exist),
- create a false dichotomy of “either we’re kinky my way or we just don’t have sex at all,”
- threaten and stalk her,
- rape her,
- prevent her from discussing her relationship with anyone other than him,
- and control aspects of her personal life, including what car she drives, what medications she takes, and how she spends her free time.
This is not BDSM. This is not sexy. This is abuse.
Using 50 Shades as your basis for how a kinky relationship works (for critical or practical purposes) is like treating Titanic: The Legend Goes On as a historical documentary. Don’t do it.
I was hoping that we’d be over the 50 shades frenzy but I’m sure the new movie will make it crop up again, so here’s a reminder that it does not depict a health relationship or a BDSM relationship.
There are 3 types of signs of pregnancy: possible, probable, and positive.
Possible Signs of pregnancy are things that look like they could be signs of pregnancy, but could also be caused by something else:
- Missed period - could be caused by TONS of things, but pregnancy is always the first thought
- Nausea and vomiting (morning sickness)
- Need to pee constantly
- Enlarged, tender breasts
- Just “feeling” pregnant
- Fatigue, tiredness
- Ptyalism (Excessive saliva)
- Montgomery’s Tubercules
- Stretch Marks
- Spider Veins
- Quickening (Feeling fetal movement)
- Chadwick’s Sign (Bluish tinge to the vagina and cervix)
- Colostrum (discharge or milk) from your breasts
Probable signs of pregnancy are symptoms that indicate pregnancy most of the time. However, there is still the chance they can be false or caused by something other than pregnancy, like presumptive signs.
- Enlarged or growing belly
- Positive Pregnancy Test
- Change in the shape of the uterus
- Softening of the cervix (Goodell’s Sign)
- Braxton Hicks Contractions
- Being able to feel a fetus
Positive signs of pregnancy are signs that are definite, and cannot be caused by anything but pregnancy.
- Palpation of fetal movement by a trained examiner
- Hearing fetal heart tones (the fetal heart beat)
- Ultrasound or Xray showing a fetus
Surprising, right? You would have thought that a positive pregnancy test would be a positive sign, and I would have too, to be honest. Still, there are other things that can cause a positive pregnancy test, such as a defective test, incorrect usage of the test, certain medications, certain other conditions affecting one’s hormones.
If you have any of these possible or probable signs and you think it’s possible that you’re actually pregnant, take a pregnancy test and make an appointment with a midwife or doctor to see if you are pregnant, and figure out your options.