fuck yeah sex education

Sex Positive and Body Positive educational place. Includes information about different relationships, genders, sexuality, sexual preferences, safety precautions and everything else that could pertain in the education of sex. Accepting of all walks of life.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!


NOT A JOKE: Photos from Personhood for Women
Also, check out National Advocates for Pregnant Women, org that stands up for the rights of women (often the ones with the least means), debunks bad science and challenges religious extremists influencing laws in courts.


Playboy’s catcall flowchart.  

I’m reblogging Playboy. Somebody stop me. 

Mills College Changes Gender Policy


Transwomen will now be admitted, making them unique among the nation’s 114 single-sex colleges. As Mills’ president told KTVU, “We were the first women’s college west of the Rockies. We were the first women’s college to have a computer science program. This is just another in many firsts.”

Great move by Mills. Here’s another take on the story from SF Gate.

Submission from spiralingoutwards


I enjoyed your post about miconazole, I was wondering if you had any opinions on gentian violet as a cheaper OTC remedy for yeast? I know, I know, it’s messy. And my NP called me “old school” when I talked about using it for vaginal yeast infections. But lots of my lactation clients use it, and I’ve had great success with it as a powerful and single-dose remedy for vaginal yeast infections. I hate miconazole with a fiery passion, so I usually just do the gentian violet/probiotics/garlic clove up the vag thing!

from @s

Gentian Violet

What is it?  It’s a chemical used to kill fungi, like yeast.  It’s also a coal-tar derivative, which means that it started as coal and was sent through a significantly chemically process to get it to coal-tar and then again from coal-tar to gentian violet.  It used to be used in the 60s and 70s much more often than it is now. 

Why don’t we use it anymore? Well, there are NO STUDIES specifying how to use it in the vagina.  There are studies that say yes, it does kill fungus, and there are studies that say yes, it does work for fungus in the mouth, but there is nothing specifying the dose, the concentration, and the length of use in vaginas.  There’s no information even saying that it’s even safe.

But do people use it for vaginal yeast infections?  Yes, they do.  Here are some important notes about using it for vaginas from a vulvovaginal specialist doctor that I respect:

  • Use only concentrations of 1% or less, otherwise it can be very irritating to the walls of the vagina
  • Gentian violet is messy, and bright purple.  Expect that it will stain everything, including your skin.  Wear a pad and undies you don’t care about while you use it and after you finish.
  • No sexual activity while using gentian violet, as that will tear the skin and potentially cause you to be permanently tattooed.
  • What you need to use it:
  • Disposable gloves
  • Gentian violet 1%
  • A disposable Tupperware type plastic container for mixing the gentian violet and soaking the tampon
  • Tampons with a plastic applicator (a cardboard applicator will fall apart in the liquid)
  • A tablespoon (and possibly teaspoon) that you won’t mind throwing away
  • Dark towels
  • Vaseline to coat your skin (if you choose)
  • Pads
  • Underwear that you won’t mind throwing away
  • Plastic baggies (for throwing away the tampon applicator, you don’t want to risk stains as you chuck the tampon in the trash, but obviously you can avoid this step if you like)

How to do it (taken from this article):

  1. Wash your hands. Apply Vaseline to protect the skin of your vulva if you decide on that option. Have your pad secure in the underwear that you are going to put on and close at hand. Wash your hands again and dry them well. Put on the disposable gloves. (you can also apply the Vaseline while the tampon is soaking up the gentian violet if mixing up the stuff with your bottoms off bothers you and you think you can be quick about it).
  2. Add one tablespoon of gentian violet 1% to the Tupperware container. If you plan on diluting it add another tablespoon of water and you will have a 0.5% solution (based on the oral studies for thrush 0.5% is probably fine and likely to be less irritating). You don’t need much liquid. If you want to make a 0.1% solution use one teaspoon of gentian violet and three tablespoons of water.
  3. Take the tampon out of the wrapper and put the tip in the gentian violet. The liquid will soak up into the tampon through the opening at the tip. Let it soak about ¾ of the way up. This will not take very long (a few minutes at most).
  4. Insert the tampon as you normally would and put the applicator in the baggie to throw away. Remove the tampon after 3-4 hours and discard, remove sooner if you have irritation.
  5. Repeat this for 5 to 12 days depending on your symptoms. Starting at once a day seems reasonable.
  6. If you fail this or any other treatment for yeast you should get a yeast (mycology) culture before retreating. Many women and their health care providers incorrectly diagnose chronic yeast based on symptoms or the and what they see (or think they see) under the microscope. A mycology culture is the gold standard. You don’t want to use any treatment repeatedly for a problem that you may not have.

Again, read here for that information and more.

Here is another article about it.

I hope that’s helpful!  I know some people who use it, but it sort of seems to me like it’s a bit of a hassle.  However, if you’re hoping to avoid some of the traditional anti-fungals, I can see it working.  If you use gentian violet regularly, let me know what you think!  I’d love more information on it.

How to Rock a Threeway


Boundaries are a complicated thing- especially for individuals who have been through trauma or come from families that had poor boundaries. We first learn boundaries in our family unit and then it is briefly talked about in schools, but most people just assume that boundaries are a thing ‘you know’. People who have gone through trauma may have had good boundaries before, but find them disrupted while trying to recover.
This is meant as a bare skeleton on how to rebuild boundaries:
Physical Boundaries.
Consciously make a decision about who can touch you, where and how. Lay out both things that are okay- and things that aren’t. Boundaries are going to vary from person to person- but you could say something like:
'I am okay with my friends hugging me but only if they do it from the front'
'I am not okay with anyone touching my neck'
'I am okay with people I've just met asking for hugs- but not with them touching me without asking first'
Boundaries are allowed to change too. Something you used to be okay with- might not be after trauma, or not on days that you’re triggered. If this happens, just talk to the individuals involved.
When someone violates a boundary- call them out.  A simple ‘Hey, I really dislike being touched like that’ ‘I’m not a big fan of hugs’. Once you’ve laid out a boundary- you can just call someone’s attention to it with a simple ‘really?’ or ‘We’ve talked about this’ ‘You need to respect my decision on if I want to be touched.’
The best way to get someone to respect a boundary- is to say it in a calm but serious voice. Not angry but also not joking/nervously laughing. If you need to, physically take a step backwards to further reinforce the boundary. 
Emotional Boundaries
Sometimes it can be hard to draw emotional boundaries because ‘they need us’, ‘they’re just acting out’, or ‘a good friend would’.
Understand that boundaries are necessarily for everyone involved, and just giving in every time someone asks you for something isn’t being a good friend- it is being a doormat. Having boundaries isn’t selfish- it allows everyone involved to grow.
Figure out what being a good friend really means for you- and understand that the best boundaries are flexible boundaries.
which means that you can set a boundary of ‘You cannot call me after 10 pm’ most of the time- and still be there should something come up that you feel it is appropriate to shift that boundary. Like, ‘Usually it isn’t okay to call me super late- but you’ve been through some rough stuff lately, so it is okay if you call me when you need me right now.’ Or ‘I usually wouldn’t handle you snapping at me- but I understand that  x is going on. But I am going to make you aware that it isn’t going to continue. I’m happy to be here for you- but you are not going to use me as an emotional punching bag.’
You’re allowed to put boundaries on how much you can help too, ‘I’ll do what I can. but I can’t be there for you 24/7. It isn’t healthy for either of us for me to literally be your everything.’ and if you’re in that position- with a friend who is struggling, you can offer to help them find other means and other support- whether it be a hotline, a support group, or helping them make new friends… but you need to hold strong to the fact that you aren’t going to be ‘on call’ all the time. That you are a person too, and you have to take care of yourself as well. This does not make you selfish- I promise.
Material Boundaries
Material boundaries have to deal with our things. Such as whether or not you’re cool lending money to friends, or letting them stay at your house.
A big problem with material boundaries is that people often have a check list of ‘I can let so-and-so borrow stuff/stay over’ but they don’t set limits.
There is a big difference between someone spending a few nights on your coach because they’re only in the state that long, or they need a safe place to go too… and someone living in your house without paying rent for a couple of months.
and while there are some circumstances where you may permit that (helping a friend get out of an abusive relationship) there are others that you might not be.
And you are allowed to set those boundaries. It isn’t about how good of a friend you are. You aren’t failing someone when they need you most. You are setting boundaries that allow your relationships to survive.
It is also important to realize that if you have a friend that turns down things you offer- it is a boundary on their part. Sometimes people will try and convince someone to accept a gift or let them buy them dinner- and everyone needs to be aware that it isn’t cool to keep trying if someone is uncomfortable. A reason for this boundary may be ‘I can’t afford to pay you back- and I was taught to never be in debt to someone’ to ‘I am used to things like that coming with a price I can’t pay later on.’ and while on the first- you may be able to talk to them and be like, ‘hey, I’m in a better position financially right now… so let me get you dinner. you can pay me back with the pleasure of your company’  but understand when a no is a no.
Mental Boundaries
Mental Boundaries come in two main forms- our absorption of other people’s ideas, and how much what they say affects us.
Mental boundaries can be telling that friend that is just a little too pushy about their politics, “Hey, I would prefer not to talk about politics at the dinner table.” or “You know what? I don’t have information about either side right now. So I’m going to read up later instead of making an opinion based only off what your can tell me.”
Mental boundaries are what allow us to come in contact with gross individuals and come away less hurt. It doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to be effected by someone calling you a slur, or someone making comment on your worth- but they’re what allow us to say ‘They might think I’m (unpleasant thing) but 1. their opinion does not matter to me and 2. I have all these reasons I know otherwise/ people that believe otherwise. I shouldn’t let this hurt me.’ Setting a mental boundary doesn’t mean not calling people out who spout cruel things, or that you have to sit around and listen to it though. Play it safe and take care of yourself.
The thing about boundaries is that usually, they are found through bumping into them. Most of our boundaries are things we’ll never speak aloud because usually we don’t need to. (Think of it this way- you probably don’t have to tell your friends that it isn’t okay to punch you. Because this is a generally understood boundary.) People don’t sit down when they meet and go ‘Hi- I am so-and-so and never touch me here here and here, and never bring up this and never ask to do so and so’ and it would probably be a little weird if we did that about everything.
But when something is a strong boundary- such as a trigger, it is perfectly okay to bring it up before the boundary is bumped. Just a ‘Hey, I know this might sound weird, and you’d probably never do it- but I have a really bad reaction to people touching me without my permission and I’d rather put that out here now’ 
And a verbal/written call out of boundaries is the best one. while we should try and be conscious of people’s body language/ unvoiced cues- sometimes they can be hard to read or people don’t notice them. 

Personal FYSE post

Have an interview with a local doula group! They need another doula to handle some of their work. They’re actually the ones letting me take their birthing classes for free, and we’ve talked a little on facebook! They said they really liked my resume.

I’m really nervous, because this is my first interview ever, and this would be my first actual taxable job. They have a lot of resources that would really help me get certified and help me with the doula profession in general.

Anyone have any tips for interviews, specifically doula related interviews? I have no clue what to expect and I’m really nervous.


Twitter Faces Renewed Criticism for Condom Ad Policies

I’m afraid of needles but I want to get the HPV vaccine. What should I do?



Someone asked us:

How badly does the HPV vaccine hurt? I know that I should get it because it’s an important vaccine and I feel so stupid but I’ve been putting it off because I’ve heard that it’s really painful and I hate needles and I’m so scared!

I am so there with you on hating needles. I can’t tell you how much of a weenie I am about getting shots and blood work. But as nervous as I was about getting my HPV shots, they didn’t end up being particularly painful or eventful. I psyched myself up for a whole lot of nothing.

But, everyone reacts to shots differently some people have pain and others don’t. My advice: plan ahead to make things go as smoothly and painlessly as possible. Here are some things you can do to make the process easier:

  • Tell your doctor or nurse about your concerns. It’s unlikely that you’re the first patient they’ve seen with a fear of needles, so they’ll be prepared to deal with your needle anxiety.

  • Bring something distracting to do. Try to use your time before your appointment for relaxation —  read a book, listen to some music, engage in something that calms your nerves so you’ll be less tense when you go in.

  • Use the buddy system. Having someone there who can comfort you if you start to panic can make a huge difference.

  • Give yourself something to look forward to after your appointment. Because you deserve a reward for taking care of your health and facing your fears.

From one scaredy cat to another, I know it can be hard but I promise it’s totally worth it.

-Mylanie at Planned Parenthood

I’ve had a fear of needles forever. One thing that helped me was never looking at the needle. You sit down in the chair, close your eyes or look at a fixed point in front of you and focus on your breathing. Counting to 7 while breathing in and then breathing out to make sure you don’t hyperventilate. Imagine yourself somewhere else. Somewhere you are comfortable and makes you feel good. It can be a totally made up place.

so it finally happened



in midwife circles the fact I’m trans* came up and someone was like

"if I was expecting, I probably wouldn’t ask you to be my midwife."

and I was like

"That’s fine. Because the wonderful thing is, you get to choose who your midwife is. And your midwife gets to accept. Why do you think voicing the fact you wouldn’t pick me has any bearing whatsoever? Am I supposed to feel bad that, gosh gee willikers, some white lady in Boston doesn’t want me to be their midwife? That’s fine - because I am not looking to serve you."

That’s the beautiful thing about having many different midwives out there - there’s the right midwife for everybody who wants one.  And go you, parteira, for not freaking out on her or letting her cramp your style.  I’m so excited for you to become a midwife!

This is one of my fears about being a doula. All doula material assumes that you are a woman, and although now there is 1 male doula that exists… that’s not very reassuring.

older posts
newer posts