If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!
Booby Traps Series: Is there a "soft bigotry of low expectations" when it comes to breastfeeding? - Best for Babes
This is the 29th post in a series on Booby Traps, made possible by the generous support of Motherlove Herbal Company. In my last post I wrote about cultural issues and breastfeeding support in the hospital. Today I’m pleased to … Continue reading →
Caught on Video: Improving Birth Breaks the Silence on Abuse of Women in Maternity Care | Improving Birth
Many people have been submitting pictures and stories to improvingbirth.org.
These stories are heartbreaking and terrifying. The people who would do this shouldn’t be medical professionals and certainly shouldn’t be in obstetrics.
These stories can be incredibly triggering, so be careful.
IUD Insertion Preparation Guide
- Find a buddy to be there for you. This is VERY IMPORTANT. Not just for hand holding during the procedure, but after the procedure you can be very weak feeling. You may not want to drive and you may need someone to help look after you.
- Get good sleep and eat a good breakfast. You may want to schedule the procedure in the afternoon to give you time to eat and digest your food. I ate breakfast and it came right back up after the procedure so it was no help at all.
- Take pain reliever 45 minutes to 2 hours before. Take whatever over the counter method works best for you and whatever dosage works best for you. Again, be sure it has enough time to digest and start working.
- Make sure to do everything you can to make yourself feel good. I made the mistake of not taking my medications yesterday (I take an antidepressant and anti anxiety medication) which made me feel sick today. I was also heat sick from being out in the heat. Make sure you take care of yourself.
- Wear something comfortable that doesn’t cut into your belly. I wore a huge sundress and it was great.
- Go when you’re on your period. This makes it easier to dilate your uterus. Wear pads the day of. Avoid tampons or a menstrual cup for a week after just because your uterus will be irritated and it could cause issues.
- Bring snacks. It’s very common to feel woozy after and eating something helps a lot. I personally wanted something cold and soft because I was nauseous and having a hot flash, so also bring money and your buddy to make an ice cream run just in case.
- Many places will want a pregnancy test just in case, so ask if you’ll need one. If so, be prepared for a pee test (drink lots of water). You’ll give a pee test first and then wait for the results and the doctor.
- This may depend on the doctor and the facility but they just had me in a regular room where I’ve had pelvic exams done before. They told me just to take off my bottoms (another great reason to wear a dress) and put the paper sheet over my legs. I entertained myself looking at diagrams of reproductive organs. If you usually have to wait for your doctor a while, you may want something to entertain yourself.
- The doctor will ask if you have any questions about the mirena or the procedure. Be sure to ask any questions you have. You may want to make a list. You can ask if they do any numbing or if they have anything to make it less painful or easier for you. This will depend a lot on the clinic and doctor. My doctor said that because the cervix has few nerve endings (ha!) there wasn’t really anything to do. Your doctor may be different.
- While the doctor is getting things ready lie back, grab your buddy, and either focus on the ceiling above you or close your eyes. Some clinics will have things to look at on the ceiling. Start focusing on your breathing. Take deep breaths in and deep breaths out. Count to about 7 as you breath in, and count again as you breath out. Relax your whole body. It helps if you start with your toes and slowly relax all your muscles all the way to your head.
- The doctor will use a speculum to open the vagina. Then they put in an instrument to open the uterus. This will feel like a pinch or a stab. Don’t feel bad crying out or squeezing your buddy’s hand. Remember, just keep breathing.
- Then they will insert the IUD. This will feel like cramping. The cramping was no worse than a really bad period for me, but I do commonly refer to my period cramps as my uterus trying to strangle itself with the fallopian tubes or my uterus trying to crawl out of my belly button. This will last a little while as they get it into place. I also felt like I had to poop because of the pressure which make it uncomfortable and difficult to relax while they trimmed the strings.
- Remember, the pain is different for everyone. Don’t worry too much, just focus on relaxing.
- Take it easy! This period is again different for everyone but I’m a big believer in preparing for the worse but hoping for the best. My first reflex was to run. It was uncomfortable, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, and I was cramping. I just wanted to leave and get home and curl up in my bed. I made it halfway down the hall before I puked up my breakfast (and something neon green). If you feel the least bit woozy or nauseous tell the nurse. Chances are they’ve seen this a million times before and they’ll ask you how you feel. Be honest and don’t feel bad about resting. You may need to lay down for a while, they will let you use the room as long as you want. My nurse brought me ice water and a cold wash cloth. The cold helps a lot. Small sips though! After you feel less like throwing up (or after you’ve thrown up and feel less queasy) eat something. That made me feel the most better. After a while of laying down they’ll probably get you to sitting and then standing. My clinic didn’t let me go home until I could walk to the car on my own. Take it as slow as you need. My nurse said that she’s seen people walk out fine first thing and also saw one person totally faint twice. Don’t feel bad about how you feel and be honest about it.
- Go home and lay down, especially if you don’t feel 100%. I slept from noon to 6 and felt great when I woke up. Just a little sore and some light cramping.
- You may cramp and spot anywhere from a day to a few months. That’s normal. You may want to avoid sex for a week to let your cervix heal. If you have any extreme pain, if you can’t feel the strings, or if the strings get in your way go see your doctor. My doctor made an appointment for me at 6 weeks to check on me, if your doctor doesn’t do this you may want to ask for an appointment to make sure everythings going okay and to ask any questions that may pop up. If after 3 months you don’t love it, talk to your doctor.
Something my Doula training has not yet covered.
What do you do when your client (and your friend) tells you that their baby’s heartbeat stopped and she had to have a D&C?
Do you have any ideas for making our assault education program more LGBTQ-inclusive?
Someone asked us:
Hi, hi. I’m looking for comprehensive assault education and wondered if you had any pointers? We’re reassessing the assault education program at our university and it’s super heteronormative. any tips? thanks thanks thanks
There are a ton of great resources, and YOU are great for doing this work.
So in terms of background, we know that sexual assault/violence have long gone underreported, unnoticed, or invisible in queer communities because of a combination of stigma, oppression via homophobia and transphobia, and good old-fashioned ignorance.
Yup, it’s still true that some people function under the total myth that domestic violence and sexual assault always involve a male abuser and a female victim. Not only is this just outright wrong, that kind of belief can stop people from getting the care and support they need.
Simply enough, this may mean providing some basic training for staff and volunteers, and doing some updates to print materials. You’ll want to be sure information includes LGBTQ people; the simple act of spelling out the fact that “lesbian gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer people are sometimes victims of sexual assault and intimate partner violence” can really help queer people feel visible and encouraged to get the help they may need. It’s better to intentionally include LGBTQ language than to use vague language that by default includes everyone.
Providing basic training to staff about what it means to provide a welcoming environment for LGBTQ people includes some important steps:
- Avoid assumptions about the identity of the person seeking help; just ask. “What’s important for us to know about you and your assault in order give you the best care and support?” Open-ended questions like this can help a ton to increase a sense of inclusion and visibly for an all-too-often marginalized group of people.
- On any intake paperwork, be sure to include the option of sexual orientation and gender identity self-identification; this simple act can signal that yes, you know that LGBTQ people exist and may be seeking services and support.
- Help staff and volunteers understand how potential clients might feel a little concerned as they ask for help because sadly, most have at least one pretty awful story about being treated badly by an uninformed care provider.
It’s also a good idea to try and partner with a local LGBTQ group at your school or in your community. So do a little looking to see who’s around and doing good work around LGBTQ issues, and see if you can work on things together!
The National Sexual Violence Resource Center has tons more info on making your assault programs inclusive to LGBTQ students. You can also check out the resources at your local Planned Parenthood. We have amazing community education departments with trained staff, and several of our affiliates have rape crisis and sexual assault programs as well.
And seriously, thank you. You’re doing great, important work in making sure your educating and resource-sharing includes people of various orientations, behaviors and identities, and that matters. It matters a lot. You rule.
- Calvin and Maureen at QueerTips
Hey, we wrote some more for Planned Parenthood Federation! Check it out.
Different states in the U.S. have different laws about minors accessing birth control. You can learn about your states laws. However, a Supreme Court ruling gives minors the right to obtain contraception. If you want to access contraception but aren’t sure you’ll be able to because of your state’s laws you can visit a local free or low-cost and confidential clinic who should be able to help you obtain birth control.
Hormonal birth control is safe and effective. It won’t prevent you from being able to get pregnant in the future and can be used for as long as you’d like. As with any medication though there may be side effects but finding the right method can usually mean there are few if any side effects.
There are other forms of birth control which anyone of any age can access, such as condoms. Condoms are great because they not only prevent pregnancy, but they can prevent the transmission of STDs as well. Hormonal birth control doesn’t protect against STDs.Some people are allergic to latex condoms, but there are nitrile and lambskin condoms which people with latex allergies can use. So, in general birth control and safer sex methods are safe.
I hope this helps.
As students prepare for the fall semester, msnbc asked schools under investigation for their handling of sexual assault incidents what changes they’ve made.