If you have any questions, feel free to ask on my ask site: http://fyseq.tumblr.com/ask, though check out http://fuckyeahsexeducation.tumblr.com/FAQ!
While life gets better for millions of gays, the number of homeless LGBT teens - many cast out by their religious families - quietly keeps growing.
This is actually a really, really well done article. long but absolutely worth the read. So glad that a magazine as big as Rolling Stone is publishing content saying, “Hey, people, we may be patting ourselves on the back about marriage equality these days but there are much bigger issues still being swept under the rug.”
Officially done with the doula book! Which leaves us with:
- The Birth Partner
- Natural Hospital Births
- The Mother of all pregnancy books
What should I read next?
Birthing tips for those with a history of trauma or abuse
- Make this your birth. Know what choices you have and make the choices that are right for you.
- It helps to talk to someone about your fears and have them help plan specific ways to cope
- It can help to have extensive knowledge of what will happen to your body and the process of birthing. Writing a detailed birth plan can also help.
- A doula can help give you back your control, create a safe environment, keep things private, work with contractions,
- let people know what level of touch is okay
- educate yourself about, and practice relaxation techniques, self hypnosis, meditation, and visualization
- If privacy and modesty are big for you, you can ask for the doctor to use draping and wipes to keep fluids in check.
- Don’t do it alone
- Let someone know what to look for with dissociation and how to help bring you back. Also let them know what NOT to do when you dissociate or have a panic attack.
- If dissociation helps, make sure you’re dissociating to a pleasant place. You can build a safe place in your mind that can help you cope.
- remember your feelings, needs, and wants are valid.
- Let people know what words or phrases or touches are triggering. Work together to come up with comforting words and touches.
- validate them
- pay attention to them, what they say and what they do
- bring them back to the birth and remind them that this is their experience and THEIR baby needs them.
- ask about their triggers and coping methods
- ask them how they are feeling and really listen
- start with nonthreatening touch like hand holding rather than massage, always ask permission before touching
- ask how you can help them
- check in with them a lot, especially when they become quiet or seem not present
- It helps to ask what they were thinking during the last contraction
- Don’t fight their response to anything, try to figure out the underlying cause and address that with them.
- help them feel safe
How to make Labor easier: A stage-by-stage guide
- Stay home as long as possible, where you are most comfortable
- Remember the purpose of contractions, your cervix is beginning to open up. Focus on that knowledge that your body is getting ready. Relax with each wave.
- Eat a good meal early in labor; fruits, whole wheat products, soups, yogurt etc.
- Avoid foods high in fat or sugar
- drink lots of water and juices. Eat Popsicles. You can also drink noncaffeinated soft drinks, especially if nauseous.
- If you haven’t broken your water yet take a warm bath. (you can put pillows in a garbage bag and cover it in a towel for ultimate comfort). Keep a comfortably hot wet towel over your belly and groin during contractions. Stay hydrated with cool water, and use a cool rag on your head.
- If you have had your water break, take a shower. You can put a chair in the shower if there is enough room.
- If you don’t want bathing, keep a warm wet towel over your belly and groin
- Walk. Walking helps a LOT. Hold on to someone if you need to.
- You should change position at least every 30-60 minutes. you can sit, lie on your side, get on your hands and knees. Use pillows to prop yourself up. Do not lay flat on your back.
- urinate every hour. If you’re having trouble urinating, make sure you’re drinking enough water, listen to running water, run poor warm water over your genitals while on the toilet, put your hands in warm water while on the toilet.
- If you want to go to the hospital or birthing center now is the time.
- Continue with previous comfort measures and add cold compresses, pressure on the back, pelvic rocking, a birth ball, a bean bag, or lean up against someone. Try many different comfort measures different times throughout labor, as what helps may change.
- Communication during this stage is super important. Let the people around you know what feels good and what doesn’t.
- You need to stay upright and walking as much as possible. alternate rest and activity as much as needed.
- Remember you can do this. Stay in the present. Focus on each contraction as it comes. Don’t think about how long you’ve been there or how long you’ll be doing this.
- Keep in consideration traffic, how far away the hospital/center is, weather, how settled you want to be before baby is born, and how many babies you’ve had (the first is always the longest).
- Your face and possibly chest becomes a deep red
- an increase of bloody, mucousy show. (not heavy bleeding, if this happens contact a doctor immediately)
- Long, strong contractions with little rest in between, combined with shaking legs or arms, nausea or vomiting, or hiccups.
- After all three of these things hapen you may have a lull in labor with contractions slowing down and easing. This is the best time to go.
- You may feel the urge to push with contractions, or pressure on your bowels during or between contractions. It’s time to go
- Any time you feel most comfortable going. You know your needs best!
- Remember everyone is different, you may feel the urge to push before 10 centimeters, you may feel it way after you’ve reached 10 centimeters.
- If you don’t feel the urge to push yet, get upright. This way gravity is doing some of the work for you. Waling, squatting, or sitting on the toilet can help. Be patient, relax, and wait for a pushing urge.
- Urinate before pushing
- If you’re having trouble, change position! You can still change position every 30 minutes until you find something that feels comfortable for you. If you have hemorrhoids, try laying on your side. If you are having a lot of back pressure try going on your hands and knees.
- Again, don’t lie flat. You can lie against someone, put pillows behind you, or raise the hospital bed.
- If pushing hurts or there’s a burning sensation let your care provider know and stop.
- It helps to touch baby’s head once it’s out, that way you can feel how far you’ve come!
- Make noise! Avoid holding your breath for too long but if that helps you can do that. Just do what comes naturally and don’t feel embarrassed!
- If you’re getting tired, spoonfuls of honey, drinks sweetened with honey, and juice can help.
- Release your tension, you need to open up to give birth
- If you need pitocin or other forms of oxytocin this can make contractions worse. You need special help keeping relaxed and focusing on breathing and keeping calm.
- If you need constant fetal monitoring, more help with keeping calm and relaxed can help things get better quicker.
- If you get an epidural, remember you’re doing just fine. You can handle this!
- If you need a cesarean section remember you didn’t fail. All births are beautiful, and as with all things in life shit happens.
- You may have had an idea of what you wanted during the postpartum period. It’s okay if that has changed.
- Let those around you know what you need; food, drink, sleep, to hold baby, or alone time
- remember, all of your feelings are valid.
- Write down your birth story!
- Talk to people about what happened and what you feel
- Get someone to take care of the house for you, you should be resting and bonding with baby!
- remember your experiences and emotions are valid and deserve to be respected.
They are NOT available in the USA.
Unfortunately, in the US, the only progesterone-only pill that is available is Micronor which uses the type of progesterone called Norethindrone. The thing about Norethindrone is that in order to be effective, the pills have to be taken within a 3 hour window every day. Bummer, right?
In other countries, progesterone-only pills use Desogestrel (as you mentioned) and that type of progesterone has more lee-way. You can take the pill within a twelve-hour window. It makes them much easier to take.
Desogestrel is not approved in the USA right now. It was, previously, but some information came out showing that desogestrel had a higher rate of blood clots than Norethindrone, and it was pulled from the shelves. While I don’t have a specific opinion on whether or not the suspicions or complaints were worth removing the pills from the shelves, I do think it really is a shame that we don’t have progesterone-only pills that are easier to take. :(
Yes! It’s perfectly healthy.
Let me explain: During your normal menstrual cycle, you have estrogen telling your uterine lining to build up, up, up. Then, you have progesterone telling your uterine lining to shed. Some people have PCOS or other hormonal dysfunctions where the estrogen tells the uterine lining to build up but there’s no progesterone to tell it to shed. In that situation the uterine lining will keep building up with nothing keeping it fresh or keeping it from accidentally becoming cancerous. That’s what we’re worried about in this situation - the un-moderated uterine lining becoming a space where cancer cells can proliferate uncontrollably.
However, birth control uses those hormones to trick the body into doing certain things. For example, a consistant low dose of progesterone stops you from building up a uterine lining in the first place. That means that when you’re using the mini-pill, Nexplanon, Depo shot, Mirena, or Skyla IUD, you’re not even building up a uterine lining at all, making it so that there’s nothing to shed during your period, so no period bleeding. Yay!
You don’t have to worry about cancer with those birth control options, because there’s no unmediated proliferating happening to begin with.
And the beautiful thing? None of them affect your fertility at all.
So how to you stop getting a period?
- Take your birth control pills continuously - that means skip the placebo or “sugar” pill. Take only the pills with hormones
- Use your nuvaring for 4 weeks straight and then switch to another without a “period” week
- Get a Mirena or Skyla IUD
- Cross your fingers and get a Nexplanon or use Depo
Working on making the layout better. I made the font better and I also organized the side bar more. The “porn and sex list” is now on the resource list and we have a new category, the directory.
I had someone helping me go through all past FYSE posts to compile them by category so everyone could search through them. Unfortunately things came up and they weren’t able to finish the work. If anyone is interested in helping me and has experience in web design I can pay you to help me make the website more accessible. Some things I need to have done:
- past FYSE posts gone through and make sure they’re tagged correctly and added to the directory.
- past FYSE posts gone through, spell checked, and checked for dead links or updated information
- past FYSEQ posts gone through, spell checked, checked for dead links, and tagged
- subtitles and transcripts for videos on the tumblr and youtube
- translating posts, videos, and other media into different languages
If anyone is interested in doing one or more of these things for me, drop me a line here or on firstname.lastname@example.org